Teach Me
by flamefairyx777
Summary: "You need a teacher." Kylo Ren once spoke these words to Rey and she refused. What if it took a different route? Kylo Ren teaches Rey the ways of the Force. (ReyLo)
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS**

 **But all the things I would do with it (hehehe)**

Snow crunched under Rey's feet as she hurried through the woods. She dodged another swing from Kylo Ren's lightsaber before throwing her own. It wasn't nearly as graceful as his but it caused him to back away long enough for her to start running again.

It had been like this for several minutes, Rey trying to lead Kylo away from Finn's injured body while also trying to stay alive. She had never held a sword before let alone a lightsaber and was unfamiliar with proper fighting technique. She was obviously out classed but she couldn't let that stop her. If she didn't fight him here and now he would kill Finn and take her back to his Supreme Leader.

She threw another swing, cutting a tree in half, blocking Kylo's path. It didn't stall him for very long. He was after her again in an instant. Rey tried to discern a way to beat him. He had been injured by Chewbacca's bow caster and she could see the wound still bleeding. He trembled furiously as he ran after her. If she was lucky she could exhaust him to a point where she could overcome him.

She also considered his emotional state. He had just murdered Han Solo.

He had murdered his own father, who had come to _save_ him.

That made her bite back tears. The thought left her body quivering with heartache and she had only known the man for a day. It couldn't have been easy for him to do, even if he was a villainous monster. She could almost feel the pain in his heart and the torment rocking his mind.

 _Good_ , she thought bitterly, _he deserves that pain._ She didn't understand how he could commit a crime so vial. To kill senselessly was one thing, but to kill his own family? That could not go unpunished.

She let that rage fuel her next couple of strikes against him. He deflected them with ease, pushing her further and further back.

The ground rumbled continuously, the tremors growing bigger each time. Suddenly the ground behind Rey split open, rocks falling into a deep chasm. Rey's eyes widened in fear. Kylo Ren's strikes became more violent, more desperate. Their blades pressed firmly against each other, Kylo pushed Rey, forcing her to the very edge of the chasm.

She was trapped.

Rey cried out as Kylo pushed his lightsaber closer to hers. She watched the unstable blade flicker uncontrollably which only heightened her panic. Kylo Ren pushed harder, using all his strength to keep himself in control of the battle. Over the loud crackling of their sabers and the rumbling of the rocks behind them, Rey heard Kylo yell the most unexpected thing.

"You need a teacher!" he said, gritting his teeth, "I can show you the ways of the Force!"

Rey blinked up in surprise. Her eyes found his own, scanning them to find the reasoning behind his words. She searched for any hint of a lie, a trick to catch her off guard, but she found none. He was being genuine. He wanted her to join him.

He wanted her to join the _Dark Side._

That would never happen. She would never consent to fighting for the side of evil, for the very people who spread fear throughout the galaxy. To allow the Dark Side of the Force to corrupt her like it did Kylo Ren was a scary thought all on its own.

"The Force." she muttered aloud, inspiration coming to her. She closed her eyes, feeling the energy around her. Kylo Ren stared in confusion. He felt the Force being drawn to her, empowering her. His confusion was replaced by awe as the Force continued to grow within this girl who had previously never used it before.

There was more. He could sense something different within her. He could detect the light but he also felt the darkness, but rather than the two battling for control they were in perfect sync. Perfect harmony.

Balance.

It was unlike anything he had ever felt before.

Rey's eyes suddenly snapped open, startling Ren. She forced him back, finally taking the offensive. Ren was amazed at her sudden surge of courage and responded in kind. The two clashed repeatedly, neither one necessarily on top. The two came to a standstill, each clasping the wrist of the other, trying to force each other into submission.

Rey found the strength to push Kylo's lightsaber towards the ground. Sparks flew as she pressed it hrder against the planet's floor. Kylo struggled against her hold. The physical and emotional pain from earlier were finally catching up to him. With one final shout, Rey released him, swinging her lightsaber. It slashed its way from Kylo Ren's collarbone to his forehead.

The man yelled in pain, falling into the snow. Rey panted, her weakened body sagging under an invisible pressure. She watched Ren twist around, supporting his weight on his elbows. He too was panting heavily, trying to suppress the pain she had inflicted on him. The wound across his face was red, cauterized from the lightsaber's hot blade. He stared at her with a mix of anger and surprise. Rey stared back, unsure what to do now that he was down. She could take him hostage. The Resistance would know what to do with a monster like him. Or she could just leave him there in the snow. There was no guarantee the First Order would find him before Starkiller Base exploded.

 _Or I could kill him._

She immediately banished the thought from her head. She was not a murder. She recalled Han Solo's last moments, trying to save his son from the monster he had become. Han believed there was light in him. She could not, _would_ not, destroy the son he tried to save.

Rey was so distracted by her conflicted mind, she did not pay attention to her surroundings. Several trees started to lose their foundation as the rocks beneath them crumbled. A sizable one began to collapse, falling towards her. Kylo's eyes widened in fear.

"Look out-!" he called. Rey barely had time to register that the tree was about to land on her. Without thinking, Kylo threw his hand forward. Rey yelped when she found herself tossed to the side like a rag doll. She collided into a large boulder, hitting her head hard. She fell down against the snow, her head falling to the side. Her eyes drifted shut as she fell into unconsciousness.

Kylo dropped his hand, shock overtaking him. He didn't bother denying the fact that he _intended_ on saving her. To let her die would have been a mistake. The logical, more reasonable part of his mind claimed that she possessed knowledge on Luke Skywalker's location and it would be foolish to let her die.

He knew that was nothing but an excuse.

She fascinated him. Never before had he met someone so consumed by loneliness such as himself. Finally, there was someone who understood him, understood his anguish. Her power in the Force was strong and he wanted to see how far she could go with it.

And he wanted to be the one to teach her.

Pulling himself to his feet, Kylo Ren stumbled over to the girl's body. His body screamed in protest but he ignored it. He knelt down beside the girl, pulling her into his arms. He heaved himself to his feet, adjusting Rey so she wouldn't fall. Tapping into the Force, he lifted his grandfather's lightsaber and his own and placed them on top of Rey's stomach. Using what little strength he hadn't exhausted in his battle, he limped through the snow, carrying the unconscious woman.

Luckily, he didn't have to travel far. He spotted a command shuttle hovering just over the treetops.

 _Most likely Hux_ , he thought to himself. The shuttle flew to a clearing several meters away. Kylo stumbled his way towards the ship. Off in the distance he heard another engine. He turned his head to the side and saw his father's old ship, The _Millennium Falcon_. He stood silently, watching Chewbacca carry a limp body into the ship.

 _FN-2187_ , he reasoned. He had almost forgotten about the traitorous stormtrooper. He didn't care if the man lived or died, but Rey would probably be relieved to know her friend was at least taken off the planet. He started walking towards his ship again, turning just in time to see the ramp lowered and a less-than-thrilled General Hux standing at the entrance. The General's face morphed into surprise, at the sight of Kylo's injuries or the girl in his arms he could not tell. Kylo wordlessly walked up the ramp, only sparing Hux a single glance before entering the cabin.

"Take off immediately!" The general yelled to the cockpit. The ramp raised itself, shutting Ren off from the cold planet. He felt the ship jerk as it took off. Wordlessly, Kylo laid Rey down on a bench. He quickly checked her for injuries before taking the two lightsabers and attaching them to his belt. Hux watched in mild curiosity. Ren turned his attention to Hux, giving him a heated stare. Hux returned it then marched into the cockpit.

With Hux gone, Kylo Ren allowed himself a groan of discomfort. He refused to give the man the satisfaction of seeing him in pain.

Turning his attention once again to the strange girl he had just met, Kylo Ren sighed. When she woke she would not be pleased, but he would not let her escape this time. He couldn't. He had finally found a potential ally in the Force. Someone who would finally understand him. He would not let this opportunity slip past him.

No matter what it took.

 **Okay, so this is the first chapter of what I hope to be a really good fanfic. I say "hope" because I do have a life that is important to maintain. I will update as frequently as I can. At the very least once a week, if I'm lucky more. Sorry I don't have a better answer. If you don't like ReyLo then get out of here, I don't need haters. Hope you all enjoy the story I have planned out for you! Spread the Love!**


	2. Chapter 2

Rey awoke with a start. She felt a cold, hard surface against her back. She blinked in confusion before her eyes flicked upward to the ceiling. She was met with a dark grey ceiling with fluorescent lights, a sight she was tragically familiar with.

 _No_ , she thought. She shot up from her position and glanced around the room. It was a small square shape and was completely bare apart from a door on the far wall and the metal ledge she was laying on that could hardly be called a bed. Rey felt nausea build up in her stomach, ready to come forth.

She was still with The First Order.

 _No No No No NOOO!_ She bolted out of bed. She ran to the closest wall, feeling it as if hoping it would vanish under her touch. She began panting heavily, panic overtaking her senses. Rey remembered her fight with Kylo Ren, watching him stare up at her with his nasty wound, but everything after was completely gone from her mind. Had he found some way to overpower her? Did he receive reinforcements? She could not recall a single detail, but it was clear that whatever happened was not in her favor. Now she was stuck again, trapped by the enemy.

Her movements became more aggressive, she started pounding against the walls, throwing herself back and forth in anger and fear. This could not be happening. She was supposed to beat the monster that killed Han Solo. She was supposed to escape with Finn and watch as Starkiller Base destroyed itself from the inside out.

The thought of Finn stilled her for a moment. Was he still alive? Had he even gotten off the base? He could be dead and Rey would never know. He had risked his life to save her from the enemy he feared more than anything and she had no idea if he was safe.

Tears gathered in her eyes. A sob escaped her lips and she did nothing to stop it. Finn knew she was going to be kept on Starkiller Base. Now the base was gone, the First Order scattered across the galaxy. She had no idea where she was or where she was going and the Resistance definitely wouldn't know.

For all they knew she could be dead.

Killed on Starkiller Base, by the explosion or Kylo Ren's blade. They had no idea.

She was trapped in the hands of the enemy with no hope of rescue.

She fell to her knees, wrapping her arms against her stomach. Her head fell down as a violent sob tore from her throat. She didn't care that someone was probably watching her through security footage. The overwhelming amount of despair was suddenly too much for her small body to handle.

Nobody would come to save her. Not the Resistance. Not Han and Chewie. Not Finn.

And she was once again alone.

Rey's crying ceased automatically when she felt a cold sensation run across her body. A chill of familiarity gripped her heart. Before she could react, she felt her body stiffen. She struggled against the force but to no avail. Her body was completely still. She had no time to brace herself when the door in front of her opened and behind it stood Kylo Ren.

She had just enough willpower to bring her head up to see him. He was once again wearing his mask, however rather than the cowl he wore upon their first meeting he donned a black cape. His skirts were also gone, leaving him in a tunic that went mid-thigh with black pants tucked into matching boots.

She sneered at the man, tears still streaming down her face. Her horror was soon replaced with rage.

"You murderous beast!" she seethed, "release me NOW!"

"You really think you are in a position to make demands," his voice came out sounding mechanical. It unnerved her, "I was told you had awoken just moments ago. I came to see how you were feeling. Clearly you are not in the best of sorts."

Rey blinked up at him in surprise. He came to check on her? As if he still held a small shred of humanity? Kylo Ren tilted his head to side.

"You don't believe me." It came out a statement rather than a question, and Rey could almost swear it held amusement. She wondered if he read her mind to determine that information or if she was just that easy to read.

"Why would I have reason to believe a word you say to me?" she growled. Kylo said nothing. He nodded his head to the side and two stormtroopers appeared in the doorway. One of them held a set of handcuffs. Rey could do nothing as they strode to her side and snapped the cuffs onto her wrists. They pulled her to her feet and she was released from Kylo Ren's hold. Neither looked away from the other during the whole process.

Kylo turned and walked briskly towards the exit, Rey and the guards close behind. This was the first time Rey had gotten to see the inside of a First Order Star-Destroyer. Star Killer Base didn't count to her and even then, she wasn't really sightseeing. Her shoes squeaked against the black, polished floors of the ship. Several stormtroopers and other personnel passed them, casting them subtle glances before continuing on with their duties. Rey did not like standing out as much as she did. The attention was unsettling.

They passed a large window revealing the vastness of open space. It was through the window that Rey saw the biggest ship she had ever laid eyes on. It was dark and menacing, as expected of the First Order, but she had no idea such as ship even existed. It was monstrous.

"What is that?" The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them. Kylo Ren didn't bother facing the window.

"That is The _Supremacy_. Star Dreadnaught Class." Rey swallowed on impulse. She hoped he didn't hear her.

"Are you taking me there?" she found herself asking.

"Yes."

Silence followed and Rey welcomed it. Whatever was on a ship that powerful could not be good. She tore her eyes away from the window and chose instead to stare at Ren's tall figure in front of her. As they walked she noticed a slight limp in his step. She didn't remember injuring his leg during their duel on Starkiller Base. After further examining she determined it was his left side that was injured.

 _Chewie's bow caster. Has he not had it looked at?_

 _I'd prefer it if you didn't stare._

Rey gasped in surprise. The two stormtroopers eyed her under their expressionless masks before ignoring her again. Rey's gaze continued to rest on Kylo Ren.

 _I asked you to stop._

 _There's very little else to look at. And I would appreciate it if YOU stayed out of MY head_ , she thought back angrily. She hated when he read her mind. A shiver ran through her as she recalled the interrogation room. He had seen things inside her head that were entirely private and he flicked through them with ease, sharing every little thing that he saw aloud, only increasing her despair and discomfort.

Rey bit back tears that threatened to fall. Kylo Ren stopped abruptly in the middle of the hallway. The stormtroopers and Rey followed suit. The man did nothing but stand perfectly still and Rey began to ponder if something was wrong with him. She felt the troopers to her sides tense in anxiousness, fearful that he might lash out at something for no reason. Rey's previous grieve washed away and was replaced with curiosity over his behavior.

The man started walking again, as if nothing strange had just happened. The troopers turned to each other in perplexed silence before dragging Rey along again.

Rey ran the scene over and over again in her mind. She wondered if that sort of thing was common. He was Force-Sensitive after all, maybe he felt a disturbance in the Force. But then why didn't she feel it? She didn't understand enough about the "all power force that guided their existence" well enough to determine that sort of thing.

Several minutes passed and the group entered a large hanger. It very bright and sleek, like every other part of the ship. Troopers and maintenance workers rushed around every corner. She saw row upon row of TIE-Fighters and she prayed she would be lucky enough to steal one to escape.

Kylo led them to a command shuttle like the one Rey saw on Takodana. Several troopers stood beside it, along with a red-haired man with a black coat. Kylo stopped in front of him.

"Is the ship ready, General?" he asked the ginger.

"It is indeed. Are you positive you don't require a larger unit?"

"I can handle her."

The General's face morphed into something similar to amusement.

"Yes, I'm sure you can," he replied, with a hint of sarcasm. Rey noticed Kylo clench his gloved fists. The air around him felt thick with his frustration and anger. Rey had not felt such darkness coming from one individual before. He hadn't expressed it during the interrogation or during their fight. When he spoke to her there was always a sense of calm. He studied her with such interest and intrigue, and when he saw her use the Force to pick up his grandfather's lightsaber his eyes expressed nothing but awe and fascination. Not once had he appeared to be the monster everyone described him to be.

She was not foolish, she knew the darkness existed in him.

It was this darkness that allowed him to killed Han Solo.

But she had yet to experience his anger first hand. And it almost frightened her.

"I expect the ship to be ready for lightspeed when we return," Kylo muttered deeply, the darkness still surrounding him. General nodded curtly. He knew Ren well enough not to push his luck.

With that, Kylo Ren marched into the command shuttle with Rey in tow. The ramp folded up behind Rey once she was on board. The stormtroopers led her to a set of benches and forced her to sit. She noticed Kylo was not in the compartment with them and assumed he had retreated to the cockpit to oversee takeoff.

Rey waited for the familiar jerk of a ship taking off. The engine hummed as the ship flew out of the hanger bay and out into open space towards The _Supremacy_. Several minutes passed in total silence where all Rey could do was stare at the stormtroopers guarding her. She was alerted to the door of the cockpit as it hissed open and out stepped Kylo Ren.

"Leave us," he ordered to the soldiers. They uttered a "Yes sir," before marching away from Rey to stand in the cockpit. The door hissed shut, once again engulfing the room in silence.

Rey was alone in a room with Kylo Ren.

She couldn't tell how he was feeling in that moment. The shroud of darkness that was once there was gone now but she couldn't read him with the mask on. She didn't like not being able to read him. He understood the Force and could pick her apart like a book, Rey on the other hand did not have that certain advantage and could only rely on her five senses. She was grossly outmatched.

"That is an accurate observation," Kylo said, breaking the silence. Rey's eyebrows knit together.

"Did your mother ever teach you about privacy? You have a nasty habit of reading my mind _without_ my consent."

She saw him tense and internally smirked. She knew the comment about his mother would unnerve him. He deserved it. He had trampled on her love and his father's, right before killing him. He was a selfish, unfeeling monster.

"I have never needed to refrain from entering the minds of others," he told her truthfully. Snoke had told him that through fear one gains power. By demonstrating his ability to enter the minds of other people he had proven his potential to the entire galaxy. People would think twice before crossing him.

"I don't care if this is a first to you. You know how it feels to have your deepest fears out in the open. It's terrible, feeling like nothing is secret."

Kylo pondered her words. She had given him another reason why the two of them were similar. He recalled the memory of the interrogation room, when he had laid her deepest fears and desires bare for the world to see. He remembered her sorrow and desperation for him to stop but he refused. While in search for the memory regarding Luke Skywalker's location she fought against him, subsequently entering his mind in the process.

That moment still frightened him.

She did the same thing he had done to her. Crept through his mind, finding the one fear he wanted nobody to know, only now _she_ knew. Her power had surprised him, but at the same time fascinated him. And when it was over, when he had forced her from his mind and they were free from each other's grips he felt it.

A strange connection formed between the two, one they both sensed but didn't understand. He had to understand it, find answers, but he needed her to do it.

He wanted her.

Kylo realized he had yet to comment on Rey's statement regarding the mind reading. It killed him to admit it but she was right. It was rude to always jump in and read someone's mind without warning. He certainly didn't like it when Rey did it to him, but there was more to it than that.

He wanted to teach Rey the ways of the Force. If he was to do that he would need her cooperation, her obedience, and most importantly her trust. He would have to treat her the way he expected her to treat him. It would be difficult seeing as she already hated him, but he would be patient. He would have to be.

He _needed_ her to trust him.

"Alright then," she heard him mutter lowly through the mask. After several long moments of him being silent she had expected him not to answer.

"I'm sorry?" she asked.

"I won't read your mind anymore. Not unless you give me permission."

His answer shocked her. She had not expected him to be so relenting on the matter. A spark of energy ignited in her. If he was being genuine, then he would no longer be monitoring her private thoughts, meaning that she could plan an escape and he wouldn't know. The hope that had nearly died when she awoke that morning was alive once again.

She could still get away. All she had to do was wait for the right moment.

The ship jerked unexpectedly and Rey had to keep herself from flying from her seat. Everything went completely still. The door to the cockpit slid open and a man in a black uniform appeared on the other side.

"Lord Ren, we have arrived on The _Supremacy_." Kylo nodded in acknowledgement and strolled to the drop door. The two guards who had accompanied them to the shuttle strolled out of the cockpit and to Rey's side, pulling her to her feet.

"What is on The _Supremacy_?" she asked, almost fearing his reply. Kylo glanced over his shoulder at her, his mask betraying nothing.

"My master."

 **Alright! Second chapter is up! I hope everyone is happy with it. Thank you for the comments I have gotten so far. Have a wonderful day! Spread the Love!**


	3. Chapter 3

**SPOILER ALERT! The scene you are about to read is similar to that of a scene in THE LAST JEDI, also information revealed in the movie is revealed here. If you don't want that ruined for you than don't read. Otherwise enjoy! I have a real long one for you all!**

The inside of the _Supremacy_ left Rey in a state of awe. She had never been so impressed while also so intimidated before. The inside of the monster ship was massive, she almost couldn't believe she was _in_ a ship. If she didn't know better she would have thought it was a space station. Just like on the Star Destroyer- The _Finalizer_ , Kylo told her- it was full of troopers and extra personnel trying to deliver reports and get to their posts. It was much more crowded and hectic that almost nobody noticed her like on The _Finalizer_.

She was led through several halls and corridors before Kylo Ren stopped in front of a group of elevators. He turned to the stormtroopers who had accompanied them.

"I will take her up alone. Go back to the command shuttle until my return." The two soldiers nodded, departing back the way they had come. The elevators doors slid open and Kylo stepped in, pulling Rey in with him. The doors closed and they went shooting up through the shaft.

Rey focused of the bright lights along the elevators walls. She could feel Kylo's eyes on her back. She wondered if she should say something. She chose to remain silent, instead deciding to prepare herself to meet Kylo Ren's master and the leader of the First Order.

Supreme Leader Snoke.

Rey had only heard stories in passing back on Jakku of the ruthless tyrant. She knew he was an old, deformed man, being evil and twisted inside and out. She knew he was strong with the Force, he did teach Kylo Ren after all. Who knew what tricks he had yet to teach the man.

 _He will be able to read your mind._

She glanced over her shoulder to see if Kylo had heard her thought. He seemed as indifferent as before, though she couldn't really tell with the mask on. It appeared he was holding true to his promise.

Snoke would be another story. He could read her mind and discover her intentions to escape, but there was also more at stake rather than Rey's safety. The whole reason she had been captured was to find the location of Luke Skywalker. If Snoke was as described, he would not hesitate to rip her mind to shreds to get the information.

She couldn't let that happen. The fate of the galaxy rested on the Resistance finding Luke. She refused to betray them. She needed a way to guarantee that Luke stayed out of their reach, something to convince them to put off their search, otherwise they would be doomed.

 _But how do I do that?_

She did not have time to think of a plan of action. Before she even realized the elevator came to a sudden stop. Her heart skipped a beat in anticipation. The elevator doors slid open to reveal a large throne room with a black floor and red curtains hanging from the ceiling. Standing beside the walls were eight men dressed in red armor, each one holding a weapon. Rey had heard mention of the Supreme Leader's Praetorian Guard, elite warriors trained to guard his majesty, though she never imagined she would be in a room with them.

Or Snoke for that matter.

The man sat in a throne in the center of the room. His body looked pretty frail and he appeared rather tall. He was decorated in elegant gold robes, but that did little to aid his appearance. Rey had never seen such an unpleasant face to look at as his. He was pale and wrinkled, with several scars decorating his face. One went deep into his forehead and another having destroyed his left cheek. Rey grimaced at the left eye that looked as if it would fall from the socket.

 _What I wouldn't give to see Unkar Plutt right now._

"Ahhh," croaked the creature seated on the throne, "The young girl I have heard so much about." A cruel smile decorated his face. With a flick of his fingers the cuffs on Rey's wrists fell to the floor with a clank. Rey said nothing, doing everything in her power to hide any sensitive information within her mind. She would have to tread carefully in his presence.

"I see you were successful in apprehending the girl after her escape from interrogation," the monster spoke to the man behind her. Rey felt something pull against the back of her mind. It startled her at first but she kept her face stoic as not to alert anyone else.

She studied the feeling with caution. She knew it wasn't supposed to be there but it didn't seem dangerous. The feeling of certain emotions manifested within her that were not her own.

Frustration, embarrassment, disgrace.

 _Why am I feeling this way?_

"I did not know you were made aware of that information," Kylo muttered through his mask. Rey detected a strain in his voice, like he was trying to keep it under control.

"General Hux informed me upon your arrival on The _Finalizer_. He told me of your confrontation with your father," he brought his large fingers to his face, resting them against his pale cheek, "You have done well my apprentice. You have exceeded my expectations."

"I thank you for your training. Without it I would not have succeeded." Rey clenched her fists. The foreign feelings from before were overpowered by her own sense of hatred for the man standing behind her. How could such a terrible man like him exist?

Rey tightened her fists harder, sure she was about to draw blood, when a new feeling arose within her. It came from the small pull emanating from the back of her mind. She tried to banish it away, determined to remain angry, but as it grew stronger she recognized it. Her lips parted in confusion. This feeling…

…was regret.

She felt it as strong as she felt her own heart beating. Rey knew not why it was there. She had no reason to be sorrowful and couldn't explain its presence inside her heart. The feeling overtook her, banishing her previous rage and bathed her in its power. It spread through her, growing more defined and giving Rey clarity. Slowly she thought she understood, but didn't want to believe it. Her body chose to act on its own accord. She glanced over her shoulder, her eyes drawn to where Kylo Ren's were under his mask.

 _These unknown feelings… they are yours… aren't they?_

He did not acknowledge her. It comforted her that he was keeping his promise but for once she had almost wished he had answered. Something was changing in them, she felt it when their minds had connected the first time.

And it was getting stronger.

Snoke continued to speak. Rey spun her head back around, biting back a curse. She had forgotten he was there. Had he heard her thoughts? Rey dragged her thoughts away from her new discovery and focused on the present. Snoke could not know about it.

It was another secret she would have to keep.

"Hux also told me you were receiving medical treatment after dueling with our new _guest_." Rey didn't like the way he referred to her as a guest. It was obvious they had no intention of letting her go, "How are your wounds?"

"On the mend," he replied quietly. Rey was caught off guard by Snoke's laughter. He sounded like he was about to cough up his lung.

"This one has a spirit of fire!" He turned his attention to Rey, "What is your name young one?"

Rey did not answer him. She gasped when suddenly she felt her feet lifted off the ground. She was dragged slowly towards Snoke's throne. Closer and closer he drew her. Rey's heartbeat increased with each foot closer she got.

Her heart completely stopped when she stood, floating, in front of his throne. He lifted a pale, scarred hand up towards her face. He raked his long fingers against the skin of her cheek and she withdrew instantly. He chuckled darkly in response.

"You are strong with the Force. I sense it. But you are untrained. It will be easy to break you." Rey went flying backwards, still hovering. She found herself reclined in the air. She could see Kylo Ren watching the whole scene unfold.

"Reveal to me your secrets!" yelled Snoke. Pain coursed through Rey's body like she had never felt before. Snoke's darkness crept rapidly through every inch of her mind, uprooting everything he could find. She struggled to keep him at bay. Tears began to pour down her cheeks as she let loose a blood curdling scream. Through the tears she could see Kylo Ren. She didn't know if she was seeing correctly or if it was her tortured mind playing tricks on her, but he looked like he was trembling.

It felt like ages had passed before Snoke unceremoniously dumped her on the floor. Rey panted heavily, trying to banish the darkness that still lingered. She pulled herself to her knees, furiously wiping the tears away with her wrists. She never wanted to experience anything like that ever again.

"Rey," Snoke said. Her head shot up in response and the man smiled evilly, "Your name is Rey. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl. I have seen your mind. Your will is strong, but not strong enough to protect you it seems." The man heaved himself from his seat. He took several small steps forward, "but I see great potential within you. Potential that I would be foolish to let waste." He stopped right in front of Rey's fallen form, "Join me Rey. Fight for the First Order and you will be taught the ways of the Force."

Rey glared at the creature, "I would rather die."

"She speaks!" Snoke laughed, "And with such passion. Passion is an emotion that leads to the Dark Side of the Force."

Rey bit her lip. Snoke started turning back around to his throne.

"I am not foolish little girl. There is a great light within you, but there is also a great darkness as well. One that has been fed through years of loneliness and abandonment. Few would dare acknowledge it, but it resides in everyone, just ask Kylo Ren."

Rey turned to face Kylo Ren. His head was lowered and he remained silent. Snoke chuckled.

"Yes, my dear apprentice here. For years I fed him knowledge about the Dark Side. Luke could sense this and chose to see just what I had shown him. What he saw frightened him to the very core. Luke Skywalker believed there was no hope for Ben Solo, and in the dark of night, decided to stop him before it was too late, by committing the ultimate sin."

Rey's eyes grew larger. What Snoke was implying, it couldn't be true.

"Oh, but it is Rey," he said, reading her thoughts, "he tried to kill his own nephew."

"LIAR!" Rey screamed. She knew the stories. Luke Skywalker was a hero. The man who saved the galaxy from the tyrant Darth Sidious. He even saved Darth Vader, the most cold blooded monster the galaxy had ever known. Luke would never try to murder his family, not when he had done such impossible things in the past.

"I do not lie, but if you want the truth, the truth lies before you." Snoke lifted his hand, pointing to Kylo who had remained silent throughout the whole conversation.

"My student, remove your mask and tell her the truth. Let her see it in your eyes." Kylo lifted his masked face up to meet Snoke's but did nothing. Snoke's face turned to a scowl, "NOW!"

Another moment passed and Rey began to wonder if he would actually do it. Eventually, Kylo brought his hands up to his mask, pressing the release button and freeing the mask from his face. Rey couldn't stop a gasp from escaping.

The wound she had inflicted on him on Starkiller Base had yet to heal. It was open and red, streaking across the right side of his face. His dark eyes met hers. He stood tall over her, eyebrows knit together. Onlookers would have seen Kylo Ren, leader of the Knights of Ren, the Jedi Killer, but looking up at him from the floor, Rey did not see that.

He looked broken. His eyes held a pain that Rey had never seen before and it scared her immensely. His lips trembled as he opened them to speak.

"My uncle tried to kill me in my sleep. He tried to kill me so I wouldn't fall to the Dark Side. My uncle turned me into Kylo Ren."

Those few words destroyed Rey's world. Everything she thought she knew came crashing around her. She desperately wanted to yell at him, deny what he said to be true, call him a liar, but she couldn't. She just couldn't and they both knew why.

He had never lied to her.

"Now you see young Rey," said Snoke, strolling back to his throne, "Skywalker will not save this galaxy. He ran away from his failure and he is not coming back. Kylo Ren destroyed his remaining Padawan's and now he too must be destroyed. The time of the Jedi has come to an end. You cannot understand the power that was gifted to you from Luke, but _I_ will give you the answers you seek. I will guide you in the ways of the Force. A path has been provided for you and you must take it, or be lost forever. Now," Snoke sat upon his throne once more, "I ask you again. Will you join me?"

Rey continued to stare into the eyes of the man she believed to be a monster. She thought back to when everything seemed so simple. When there were bad guys and good guys and nothing in between, but it wasn't that simple. The galaxy wasn't divided between one side or the other, black or white. Luke Skywalker was a hero, this she believed, but he was human and he made a terrible mistake, a mistake that cost him his family. She could not fault him for being human.

But then… could she fault Kylo Ren as well?

Looking into his eyes she saw a man who was alone. Driven by his anger and hate in hopes of finding what he had lost long ago. Willing to do whatever it took even if it meant making all the wrong choices. He did not want this path. Luke forced it upon him by believing he was beyond saving.

But was he?

Han didn't think so. Leia didn't think so.

Maybe he wasn't.

Rey's heart tightened. Whether or not Kylo Ren could be redeemed mattered not. She would not sell her soul to the Dark Side no matter what Snoke told her.

She believed in the Resistance. She believed in Luke Skywalker, no matter what he did in the past. They were out there in the vast galaxy and they needed her help in this war. She would offer whatever she could to guarantee their victory. Their freedom.

No matter what.

Rey opened her mouth, trembling.

"Okay."

Kylo Ren's head shot up in surprise. He watched Rey pull herself to her feet and turn around to face Snoke. Sucking in a deep breath, she spoke louder.

"I will join you. I will join the First Order."

Snoke quirked an eyebrow, "Really now? I didn't expect you to be so cooperative."

"I will join you. I will learn the ways of the Force and fight for the First Order as you wish, but only at a cost!"

Snoke smirked, "I should have expected as much. What do you want from me young Rey? Do you want me to spare your friends within the Resistance?"

Sweat began to form on Rey's brow, "I would not expect you to grant such a request. We are at war after all. I want something different." Kylo's curiosity was peaked, as was the Supreme Leader's. He gestured for her to continue.

"If I join you, you will not go after Luke Skywalker."

Kylo's eyes widened and Snoke quirked an eyebrow in interest. Rey tightened her fists.

"If I agree to study with you must promise to end the search for Skywalker. If its as you say and he's hiding in shame, then he won't cause any real problem for your plans."

"You demand this so that the Resistance will have time to locate him first," Snoke said.

"The Resistance doesn't have all of the map. They only have the one piece. They won't be able to locate him without the rest. Besides, even if they do find him he won't help." Rey had no idea if they possessed the whole map or not, but she had to convince him to quit the search. If the Resistance could find Skywalker then they would have a leg up in the war. If the First Order were to get to him then he would die and the last hope for the galaxy would be gone. Rey had to prevent that from happening.

By agreeing to become Snoke's apprentice she would gain access to First Order resources. She could find important knowledge on the First Orders plans and when she eventually escaped she could relay it to General Organa.

If she didn't agree then they would likely kill her. She would serve no further use to them. But by siding with them she could put herself to good use. Spying on the First Order from the inside.

 _And learn the ways of the Force_ , she told herself. It would be much easier to overthrow Snoke if she knew everything he did about the Force. She would be stupid not to take advantage of the opportunity. She just prayed that he would agree to her terms.

Kylo Ren watched the girl standing before him. He could not hide his surprise at her acceptance of apprenticeship. He was not an idiot, he knew there was a catch. She probably hoped to give the Resistance time to find Skywalker themselves while trying to steal information from him, but he knew that didn't matter. In time he would change her mind. Convince her that Skywalker was a lost cause and he could teach her everything she needed to know.

Snoke stroked his chin in thought. A minute passed before a cruel smile appeared on his face, "You are ambitious my dear, I'll give you that. What you ask for is no small desire."

"Would you rather have Skywalker dead at your feet, or me at your side?" she questioned. The tall man burst into laughter.

"I see why you are drawn to her Ren. She is a fascinating one. Alright Young Rey, I accept your terms. I will not harm Skywalker in exchange for you joining the First Order. You will be taught as the Knights of Ren before you, however there will be a slight difference."

Rey fidgeted under his gaze, "What would that be?"

" _I_ will not be the one to teach you." Snoke looked up at the man directly behind her. He gestured for him to step forward. Kylo strode up, standing right beside Rey, "As of this moment, Kylo Ren is your master. You will do directly as he says. He will train you in the art of the lightsaber and the ways of the Force." Rey opened her mouth to protest but Snoke lifted a hand, silencing her. He turned to Kylo.

"She is your responsibility from this point onward Ren. I expect you to train her as I have trained you. Failure to do so will not only result in punishment for her but for you as well. Are you prepared to accept this?"

"I will train her in everything I know. I will not fail you Supreme Leader." The frail man nodded, his cruel smile still in place.

"Very well then. You may both return to The _Finalizer_. I will contact you when I require a mission completed. You are dismissed." Kylo Ren bowed his head. He looked at Rey from the corner of his eye, signaling her to do the same. Reluctantly Rey bowed her head in the same fashion. Without another word, Kylo Ren turned around and strode to the elevator. Rey followed several steps behind him.

Rey bit her lip in apprehension. She was grateful she wouldn't be constantly monitored by Snoke, but she was unprepared to be placed in Kylo's direct care. She had no idea what would unfold after becoming his student.

 _No backing out now_ , she reasoned. What was done was done and she could not undo it. From that point onward, she would play the part of his student, learning under him in hopes of finding a way to tear apart the First Order. If she had a chance to escape she would take it, but until such a moment arose she would just have to wait. Wait and pray for the best.

With that in mind, Rey stepped into the elevator beside her new master, the door sliding shut behind her.

 **WOW that was a long one. I promise they won't all be that length. I swear when I planned it out it was much shorter. Oh well, more to enjoy I suppose! Favorite! Comment! Seize The Day! Spread the Love!**


	4. Chapter 4

Kylo and Rey had not spoken to each other since departing The _Supremacy_. They went straight to Kylo's command shuttle and were taken back to The _Finalizer_ without muttering a single word. Both were lost in thought the whole way back.

Rey stared down at her lap in the cabin of the command shuttle. Upon boarding Kylo Ren went to the cockpit. The two guards from before stood close by, ever vigilant. Rey ignored them, choosing to instead recall the life changing conversation that had happened in Snoke's throne room.

 _I guess he got what he wanted_. Her mind drifted to just the other day during their duel when he had asked her to join him.

 _You need a teacher! I can show you the ways of the Force!_

 _I hope he's happy_ , she thought sarcastically. Now she had no other option but to be his student if she was going to live. She sighed. There was no point dwelling on it. In the end she knew she made the right choice. She had protected Luke hopefully long enough for the Resistance to find him and at the same time she would gain valuable information from the First Order.

Along with something extra.

 _I'm going to learn how to use the Force_ , the concept gave her joy and concern. She was pleased to finally understand the part of her she didn't fully comprehend, but at the same time _Kylo Ren_ was teaching her. She would have preferred Luke. She glanced up at the door Kylo disappeared behind.

 _I wonder if I'd rather have Snoke too_. The monster who controlled the First Order was terrifying but on a personal level so was Kylo. She knew what to expect from Snoke. Grueling training, mind probing, torture if she was disobedient. Kylo Ren was a different story. The man people painted Kylo Ren to be was surprisingly not the one she knew. She believed him to be cruel and heartless, having killed his own father, but when he was around her he was not that way, not really. She truly intrigued him in the interrogation room and he had been different since.

The two of them were connected by something bigger than them and it was nerve wracking. Now she would be spending every waking moment in his presence.

 _I just hope I stay on his good side._

The command shuttle landed not long after. The two guards led Rey out of the ship and proceeded to wait for Kylo. When he appeared, he once again had his mask on over his face. How Rey hated that mask.

"You may return to your duties," he said through his vocoder. The two troopers nodded, marching away to their regular posts. Kylo grabbed Rey's elbow, startling her, "you will come with me."

"Like I have a choice," Rey muttered. Kylo ignored her, dragging her out of the hanger bay. When they were away from the buzz of the hanger Kylo released his grip on her arm. Rey yanked it away, glaring daggers at him.

"I can walk without you leading me like an akk dog!"

"I'd keep your voice down if I were you. Try not to draw attention to yourself," he replied. Rey gave him a skeptical stare. Finn had told her all about Kylo Ren's infamous "temper tantrums". How dare he tell her not to draw attention to herself.

"Like you're one to talk," she grumbled. She felt darkness surround him and regretted her statement. She wondered if she was about to witness his full fury.

"Watch your mouth," he growled, raising a finger to point at her, "as of this moment you are _my_ apprentice. Don't think I don't know how to handle people who question my authority. You should be grateful to still be alive."

"You wouldn't have killed me," Rey says boldly. Her mind told her to shut up but her mouth had other plans, "You wouldn't have offered to teach me back then if you really wanted to kill me."

Kylo Ren said nothing. She could still sense his anger but the darkness had stopped growing. She was thankful it had, but she honestly thought he was going to pull out his lightsaber and impale her for her comment. Clenching and unclenching his fists, Kylo turned on his heel and marched down the hall, "Enough talking. I'll show you to your quarters."

"I get quarters? I thought you were going to keep me in the detention block?" Rey felt slightly relieved at the prospect of receiving quarters rather than spending her days in a cell barely bigger than herself.

Kylo nodded, "Aboard this ship you will have a Level 3 clearance. You can go to any section of the ship that allows your clearance level. Should you try to go anywhere without the correct clearance, the bridge will be alerted and Hux will send troopers to find you."

"Nice to know Hux cares that much," Rey murmured sarcastically. Kylo didn't acknowledge her comment. They spent the next few minutes in silence until Kylo stopped in front of a black metal door. He typed a four-digit code into the keypad beside it and the door opened automatically.

The quarters were rather spacious. The entry way led into a small living area with a set of black couches and a coffee table. There was a bathroom to the left and another hall to the right which led to what Rey assumed was the bedroom.

She took small tentative steps into the living space which now belonged to her. It felt very bare and lacking in the small things that made a place home. She turned down the hall to the right and Kylo followed right behind her.

The room was large as well. A large window occupied the wall opposite of her, giving Rey a gorgeous view of space. There was one closet right next to the door and a queen-sized bed on the far wall. Rey's eyes rested on the bed for a considerable amount of time. Kylo grew uneasy with how long she had gone without speaking.

"Is something wrong?" he asked her.

"It's the bed," Rey answered, eyes not leaving the piece of furniture.

Kylo didn't bother masking his confusion, "What's wrong with it?"

"I've never had one before."

An awkward silence followed after. Rey bit her lip in embarrassment, wishing she could take the statement back. She was so sure she had made the situation uncomfortable, she was completely taken off guard by his response.

"I'm sorry."

Rey doubled back in shock. The mighty Kylo Ren, right-hand man to Supreme Leader Snoke, said "sorry" to a lowly desert scavenger.

"I should have known that," he added, hoping to easy her surprise. Rey didn't understand what he was referring to when the memory of the interrogation room popped into her head. He had seen her memories and innermost secrets, therefore he knew of her situation on Jakku. A new wave of embarrassment overtook her, only for different reasons.

Kylo must have detected her bashfulness and coughed uncomfortably, "I think it would be best if I left you to settle for the night. I took the liberty of contacting Hux before we docked and he had some nightwear brought to you. A tailor will be by tomorrow to fit you into new clothes."

"Do I really need new clothes?" Rey asked, glancing up at him. He looked her up and down quickly. He turned on his heal, striding towards the exit.

"You stick out drastically here. I think it would be in your best interest if you agreed to alter your attire." He had a point there. She had already received several disdainful looks at her clothes while walking the halls of both The _Finalizer_ and The _Supremacy_. It wasn't her fault she spent most of her life having to care for herself, providing everything for herself. Most of the people on the ship had grown up privileged. Everything was served to them on silver platters while others in the galaxy worked and slaved daily just to support themselves.

 _What a sick place._

"I will drop by tomorrow to start the first steps of your training. Until I arrive remain here." They stopped at the entrance of Rey's new home. He pulled out a small piece of black plastic from his pocket and handed it to Rey. She noticed the whole thing was made up of a barcode.

"This is your key around the ship. Remember, you only have a Level 3 clearance. I programmed the four-digit code into it so it also serves as your key into your quarters. Slip it into the slot on the keypad and it will open automatically. Do you have any questions regarding what I have just told you?"

Rey shook her head, everything seeming pretty straightforward. The door slid open and Kylo stepped out into the hallway. Rey watched him turn around to face her one last time before retiring for the day.

"My quarters are two floors above yours," his voice held a certain sincerity to it, like he was trying to calm her obvious discomfort, "If, you should need anything, I will help you. It is my job as your master to see to not only your training but your wellbeing."

Rey knew he meant every word he said. She was amazed at his earnestness and a little unsure of how to respond. Normally she would have shot back a sarcastic comment or rude remark, but she couldn't deny that his words gave her a bit of comfort that he cared at least a little bit.

She wouldn't tell him that though. He was still her enemy.

Rey could only nod in understanding. With a single nod, Kylo turned down the hallway, the door shutting behind him.

She was alone.

She felt a certain relief having a living space all to herself. She assumed there were cameras monitoring her but she could live with that for a while. At least she could rest easy knowing her thoughts were safe.

 _He hasn't tried to read my mind, or at least I can't tell if he has._

Rey shook her head in confusion. He wasn't making any sense. Kylo wasn't behaving the way the villain in a story should. He was intrigued by her power and wanted to cultivate it himself. He spoke to her as kindly as any antisocial mad man could and honestly appeared to care about her wellbeing.

 _What a weird man._

She shook of her perplexity. She would be spending _a lot_ of time with him now and would understand his behavior in time. It did not matter at the moment. Releasing a heavy breath, Rey strolled down the hall back to her new bedroom.

Rey had never had a bedroom before, or at least didn't remember having one. The room she now owned was bigger than her AT-AT and it was a bit overwhelming. She wished she had some of her old things to liven the room up.

She turned to the closet where Kylo said her sleep wear was. She opened it and found a light grey, silk night dress. Rey fingered the material for a moment, marveling at how soft it was. Rey had never owned something so nice.

She pulled it from the rack and laid it out on her new bed, stripping off her other clothes and putting it on. It caressed her skin in such a nice way she almost felt bad owning such a lovely piece of material. She folded up her old clothes and laid them inside the closet along with her shoes. Hesitantly Rey turned off the lights in her quarters and crawled into her new bed.

Never before had she laid on anything so comfortable on all her life.

That thought alone made her feel uncomfortable.

It was unfair that the First Order were allowed such luxuries when others in the galaxy had nothing. If the First Order really cared about spreading peace they would start with the less fortunate, helping them in every way possible.

Guilt crept into Rey's heart as she pulled the thin covers over herself. She didn't deserve these luxuries. If the First Order hadn't found out about her Force sensitivity she would have been killed already, not reaping the benefits of training under the leader of the Knights of Ren. She should be back on Jakku, laying in her downed AT-AT, restlessly turning and tossing through the night like she had done for the past several years.

It's where she belonged. Not on a Star Destroyer cruising the galaxy.

Just before the guilt could spread farther, she felt a disturbance in the back of her mind, just like when she was in Snoke's throne room. A sense of calm washed over her body as it travelled through her.

She didn't know what exactly it was, but it reminded her of a reassurance. It reminded her that she was no longer on Jakku. Those days were behind her. She no longer had to scavenge day by day in order to survive. She didn't have to labor under Jakku's unforgiving sun, working for a hideous monster who didn't care if she lived or died.

She was special. She had a the chance to change her fate and make something of become more than she ever thought she could be.

She didn't have to worry about that anymore. It was behind her.

 _Let the past die._

The words sounded in her head without her even realizing it. Her mind slowly drifted into a state of peace. Her heavy lids drifted closed and she did not fight the exhaustion. She had had a long and emotional day and she knew it was going to get harder from that point onward, but she wanted sleep and she gladly welcomed it.

 _Tomorrow is when it really begins._

 **This one wasn't nearly as long as last time, sorry about that. So Rey's journey as Kylo's apprentice is about to start, that should be exciting! Review! Like! Favorite! Spread the love!**


	5. Chapter 5

**NEW CHAPTER! It has occurred to me that Kyle Ren's chambers in canon are actually rather small. I feel like it would be just like the first order to give important people fancy quarters though so both him and Rey have nicer quarters. I don't know, hardcore fans like to point out that kind of stuff and I don't want to deal with it. Also, if you got an update and saw no new chapter, sorry about that, I forgot the disclaimer in chapter one.**

Rey couldn't remember the last time she slept so soundly. She cursed herself for shamelessly falling in love with the enemy's furniture, but at the same time she couldn't find the will to get up. She chose to remain in the comfort and safety of her sheets until a loud chime came from the other room. She lifted her head up curiously, listening again for the sound. It came again and Rey decided to investigate.

Pulling herself from her cushioned haven, she shuffled down the hall into her living room. She searched the room for a minute trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. It startled her as she was looking over one of the couches. Spinning around she realized it was coming from her front door. She crossed the threshold and pressed the button on the keypad that opened it.

Rey was amazed to find a woman standing on the other side.

Her dark hair was pulled up into an elaborate bun with two stands falling beside her face. She wore a black dress that reached her knees and black leggings. Her attire resembled the First Order uniform but had a white layer sticking out underneath the black fabric giving it a unique appearance.

Her brown eyes blinked in surprise. She soon regained herself and smiled happily at Rey, "I'm so sorry to scare you Miss."

Rey said nothing, still trying to figure out why the woman was there. She continued to smile, ignorant of Rey's befuddlement. Her head tilted, looking into the quarters, "May I come in?"

"Who are you?" Rey said bluntly. The woman ignored her impoliteness, continuing to offer her a warm smile.

"Forgive me Miss, my name it Zarde. I was sent to fit you." Rey's mouth dropped slightly, still not sure what to make of this person. She glanced over her shoulder and for the first time noticed the cart full of lovely fabrics and sewing supplies.

 _A tailor will be by tomorrow to fit you into new clothes._

Rey snapped back into her senses, recalling Kylo's statement the night before. An embarrassed blush spread across Rey's cheeks as she moved to the side, "OH! Of course." She tugged on her nightdress nervously, feeling rather revealing now that she was in the presence of someone else.

The woman, Zarde, didn't seem to mind however. She stepped into the room, the cart automatically following her in. She strolled into the living room, taking in the large space.

"You have some very nice quarters. They could use a little decoration though." she told Rey. Rey nodded hesitantly in agreement. Zarde turned around to Rey, beaming.

"Shall we get started then?" Rey didn't answer as Zarde walked over to the cart and started searching for something. Rey eyed her skeptically. Zarde did not seem like the kind of person associated with the First Order. She had a warm aura surrounding her that the others lacked. She spoke so casually and had yet to stop smiling. Why would someone like her work for the First Order?

"Here we go!" the lady cheered, holding up a tape measure, "I'll need to take your measurements now," she held a hand out in front of her, "Would you mind standing here please Miss?"

Rey did as she was told, cautiously stepping to the spot Zarde instructed her to stand. Zarde shook her head at Rey's clear distrust of her. She took Rey's arms and lifted them so she could measure her waist. She took Rey's measurements in silence, allowing Rey to grow comfortable with her presence. When she did speak she asked her nicely to turn or move her arms so she could get accurate calculations. Rey watched her movements like a Drayberian hawk. This woman confused her more and more by the minute. The longer she stood in her presence the clearer it became that this woman was genuinely a kind and decent person. She didn't know that was possible.

 _That's a lie._

Rey's thoughts drifted to Finn. He was trained to be a stormtrooper. Completely heartless with no problem harming innocent people for the First Order's agenda. He threw that life away because he could not, would not, be a tool used to hurt people. If Finn had a heart of gold, whose to say Zarde didn't either.

"Alright Miss," Zarde said, rolling up her tape measure, "I should have all of the measurements needed for now." She placed the measure on the cart and held her hand out towards the fabric, "Would you like to pick some fabric? Lord Ren instructed me to make your uniform black but I figured you would like to include some color in your wardrobe."

"Oh, thank you," Rey replied, surprised by the kind gesture. She stepped up to the cart, examining all the many choices.

"I hope you find something in there you will like. If not, I can ask Lord Ren if he could purchase more. If it's for you I'm sure he won't mind."

"What do you mean by that? I highly doubt Kylo would go out of his way to purchase fabric for his new apprentice." Rey questioned. She heard a loud gasp behind her from Zarde. She gave the woman a questioning glance, "Are you alright?"

"O-Oh yes! I'm fine Miss!" she said loudly, waving her hands in embarrassment, "I was just unaware that your relationship with Lord Ren was that of a professional one."

It took Rey a moment to register what Zarde had implied. When she did, a furious blush spread across her pale face.

"Absolutely not!" she yelled before remembering there might be people walking in the halls. She dropped her voice down to a whisper, " _what could possibly give you that impression?_ "

Zarde bit her lip bashfully, "When fitting him into his cape the other day he told me he had brought you on board and tasked me to create your new wardrobe. It's not entirely uncommon for higher ups to bring…lady friends onboard. Forgive me for assuming Miss, really, I didn't know you were to be his apprentice."

Rey sighed. She didn't like the idea of generals dragging ladies around like toys when they paraded around conquering the galaxy, but she understood why Zarde would jump to conclusions.

"It's alright Zarde. I forgive you. It was a simple mistake."

"I hope I did not offend you," she said sincerely. Rey offered her a small smile.

"No, you did not." Rey sucked in a deep breath, bracing herself for the answer of her next question, "You said that higher ups do that often?"

Zarde nodded once. Rey grabbed the hem of her dress, absolutely hating herself for allowing curiosity to get the better of her.

"Has Kylo ever brought anyone on board?"

Zarde blinked in astonishment before breaking into a fit of giggles, "Oh no Miss. In all the years I've been his personal tailor not once has he brought a girl onboard. Men like him think they have more important things to worry about."

Rey didn't know what compelled her to ask such a stupid and personal question. She didn't care if he had some lady toy. Yet, for some reason a small sigh of relief escaped her. If Zarde heard her she didn't comment, instead she turned to the cart, "Now have you picked some fabric?"

Rey sighed,"They are all so lovely, I wish I could have them all. It's a shame Kylo only prefers black."

"He does own some purple and navy casuals actually."

She quickly turned to face the young woman, "Kylo Ren? Wearing purple? You must be joking?" Zarde shook her head, smiling haughtily.

"I am his personal tailor after all. Don't tell him I told you that. He will end me for sure," she replied. Rey grew concerned however it disappeared upon seeing Zarde's teasing found herself smiling, a laugh tumbling from her lips. Zarde joined her before standing and helping her with her choices.

"Well I better get these clothes started then," Zarde said after Rey finally made up her mind. Rey found herself saddened that the woman had to leave so soon. It was nice having someone who wasn't an emotionless stormtrooper or a stiff-necked officer. Rey followed her to the door and Zarde smiled warmly.

"I'll have something finished by tomorrow morning Miss."

Rey nodded in agreement, "Thank you, Zarde. And please, you don't have to call me Miss. Rey would be just fine."

"I'll try to remember that next time," she offered Rey a single nod and exited the room, the cart following close behind. The door closed and Rey was alone again. Rey released a heavy sigh. She didn't like feeling lonely. She had only recently discovered how great it was to have friends. Her thoughts went back to Finn and BB-8. She hoped they were both safe with the Resistance.

 _At least now you've made a new friend_ , Rey thought optimistically. She found some relief in the silver lining. She strolled back into her room, deciding to change into her regular clothes for the rest of the day. Kylo said he would be by in the morning to begin her training. It was only a matter of time before he showed up to ruin her mood.

As she pulled on her shirt and pants, another chime came from the front door. Realizing it was probably Kylo waiting for her, she pulled her shoes on, deciding against the shawl and belt. She quickly mustered up the most impassive face she could. She refused to look happy in his presence.

She straightened herself out and opened the door for Kylo Ren.

Only he wasn't at the door.

Instead stood a rather tall stormtrooper in chromium covered armor along with a long black and red cape. There was a blaster attached to her hip.

"Can I help you?" Rey asked, trying to sound surprised by the trooper's unexpected appearance. She knew Kylo was very important, with a lot of assignments and missions, but she didn't think Kylo was lazy to the point that he would send someone to escort her to him. The trooper before her appeared important also so it seemed unlikely to Rey that he would send someone of her status to retrieve his new apprentice when any soldier could do it.

"You are Lord Ren's new apprentice, correct?" came the trooper's voice through her mask. She sounded very uptight with no time for nonsense.

"Um, yes?" Rey replied cautiously.

"I am Captain Phasma. I have been tasked by Lord Ren to give you a tour of The _Finalizer_."

Rey blinked in puzzlement, "Where is he? Why isn't he doing that sort of thing?" she questioned.

"Lord Ren is no longer on the ship." Came the trooper's response.

That was not the answer Rey was expecting.

"He's not here?"

"Correct. Early this morning he and General Hux were called away for an important mission. The _Ravenous_ rendezvoused with us and took them to their destination."

"He left without saying anything?" Rey questioned skeptically. Captain Phasma's story made absolutely no sense. Snoke commanded Ren to train her and immediately afterwards sends him on some crazy mission? It seemed rather odd.

"I don't question Lord Ren's actions and neither should you. Clearly you did not need to know about what his mission entailed so he didn't bother telling you. Besides, according to Hux's last transmission they should complete it and return around tomorrow afternoon." said the captain, "Now I do in fact have other duties that I must take care of, so if you would be so kind as to accompany me around the ship so you don't get lost in the future."

Rey was still uneasy about the situation, but agreed to follow the captain none the less. Grabbing her room key, she quickly walked outside behind the captain. She followed the chrome covered trooper through the halls of The _Finalizer_. Every time they passed by a major location Captain Phasma would explain its purpose and whether Rey was allowed in there or not. Most of them -much to her "surprise"- were off limits. There were some places Rey was allowed to go like the gym and of course the mess hall, but most places like the archive chambers, engine room, and main hangar were off limits if she had no supervision.

She had to give it to Phasma, she was efficient. She left no location out, going into incredible detail everywhere they went. Rey asked questions and Phasma would give her a quick, straight forward answer.

The tour ended with the mess hall. Already tons of troopers and officers were sitting down eating or waiting in line for food. It was odd seeing so many stormtroopers without their helmets on. She wondered if any of them were close to Finn.

She snapped out of her thoughts when she realized Phasma had said something to her.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" The captain sighed in displeasure. It became clear to Rey she would rather be doing something else.

"I have duties on the bridge to attend to. I take it you have not eaten yet?" Rey's stomach growled loudly in response. Several passers by gave her questioning stares. Rey nodded awkwardly.

"You can go stand in line to receive food. When you are done return to your quarters. If you need help locating them ask someone for directions." The captain straightened her back and marched off towards the closest elevator.

Rey did as she was told, standing in line waiting to receive food. She felt the stares of almost everyone in the room. She had never felt so uncomfortable before. She held her arms tightly, feeling self-conscious. When she finally received her food from the service droid she glanced around the room trying to find a secluded spot to sit. She found one in the far corner of the room past several heavily populated tables. She walked briskly towards the seat trying to ignore the stares. However, she couldn't stop herself from picking up pieces of everyone's conversations.

"-Lord Ren's new apprentice-"

"-I heard she gave him a nasty injury-"

"-Looks like a filthy scavenger if you ask me-"

"-she won't last a day-"

"-worthless piece of filth-"

"-he's keeping her for pleasure I bet-"

Rey slammed her tray harder on the table than she meant to. Sitting down with a loud thud, she gripped her fork tightly. She ate in total silence, still hearing the low murmurs of conversations around her. Most of them were about her relationship to Kylo Ren. Others were about her appearance. All of them ended the same. All the people in the room agreed that she was a scrawny, worthless nothing. She scarfed her food down as quickly as possible. When she finished she gave it to a droid for cleaning and walked quickly out of the mess hall, not once looking back.

She tried focusing on her shoes squeaking against the cold hall floors, but she failed miserably. Their words echoed in her head.

Living her whole life working for Unkar Plutt had it's fair share of difficulties. He constantly abused her, calling her terrible things, but he was the only one. On Jakku she was surrounded by scavengers just like her, all trying to survive.

 _But you're not on Jakku anymore._

No. No, she was very far from Jakku, in a place the exact opposite. Nobody understood what she had been through in life. Nobody cared. The unspeakable, choking loneliness overcame her. Her pace increased as she tried to reach her room before anyone saw her tears.

As she turned the corner to the hall she recognized her quarters to be located, a pulse resounded against her mind. It overtook her, causing her to falter in her steps. It was familiar, but Rey didn't care. Her anger, sadness and frustration were about ready to pour out of her and she needed to get to the safety of her quarters. Yanking her key from her pocket she pushed it into the slot that allowed the door to open. She strolled into the room, rubbing furiously at her eyes. When she finally pulled them away the air in her lungs escaped her.

Kylo Ren was standing in her quarters.

 **YAY! NEW CHAPTER! I hope you all liked it, a lot happened. I introduced an original character. I thought Rey needed someone who would be her friend in the First Order other than Kylo because everyone needs a friend! Did you all like her? Tell me about it! I love getting reviews! Review! Favorite! Follow! Spread the love!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I struggled with this chapter for some reason, but I hope it is satisfactory.**

Rey froze upon seeing the man standing in the middle of her quarters, eyes wide in disbelief. Had Captain Phasma lied to her about his mission? It seemed unlikely. What reason would she have to lie? Looking at Kylo, it appeared as if he was just as shocked as she was. His cape and mask were gone, giving Rey another glimpse of the long scar she gave him. She stepped further into the room, allowing the door to close behind her.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned the minute the door shut.

"What do you mean?" Rey's sadness from earlier was replaced with frustration with the man before her.

" _What do I mean_? Why are you in my quarters? Phasma said you left for a mission this morning. Something you neglected to tell me." Kylo looked over his shoulder, then back to Rey.

"I _am_ on a mission. I'm in _my_ quarters on The _Ravenous_ right now." Rey was for once speechless. Kylo's statement held heavy implications. She shook her head slowly in denial.

"This isn't possible. How are you here?"

"Can you see my surroundings?" he asked instead. He continued to look around the room, his eyes finally settling on Rey, "Because I can't see yours. Just you."

"No, I cannot see your surroundings, but that doesn't matter!" she said, throwing her arms out in exasperation. She walked around the room, running a hand over her face. Kylo watched her intently, "How is this possible?"

"It has to be the Force."

"Well no duh. It can't be anything else, but _how_ is it happening? Do you know?" Kylo shook his head and Rey let out a loud moan of irritation. She finally settled on her couch, rubbing her face. Kylo continued to stand a few feet away. He lowered his head, deep in thought. Rey allowed her own thoughts to wander.

The Force was connecting her and Kylo so they could see each other from different parts of the galaxy. This was the last thing she needed to add to her list of worries. Her plans for escape just became severely more complicated. How did the bond even work?

Could they activate the connection at will? Was it random? In any case Kylo now had the ability to watch her without being in the same room. He could learn about her intentions to steal information and escape. She couldn't let that happen.

"The interrogation room," Kylo finally said, raising a hand to stroke his chin, "You felt it didn't you? When we entered each other's minds. Something changed afterwards."

"You mean when you tried to force Luke Skywalker's location from my mind?" she snapped bitterly. Kylo remained indifferent to her comment. Rey sighed, "Yes, I remember. I felt it. Do you think this was caused by that?"

"Most definitely. The minute I left that room I felt something change in the Force. We must have accidently created some kind of link between our minds." Rey didn't understand much about the Force, but Kylo's explanation sounded just convoluted enough to make sense. She threw her hands up, allowing them to fall back into her lap.

"Is there any way to sever it?" Kylo did not answer. He continued to stare at her. Rey assumed that was his way of telling her no. A sigh escaped Rey's lips.

"So, we'll have to live with this for the rest of our lives?" she asked. Again, Kylo did not respond. Rey' irritation was growing with every passing minute, "Why can't you answer me like a normal person? I can't read your mind."

"Yes, you can."

Rey blinked up at him. Slowly Kylo moved toward the couch opposite of Rey. His heavy boots thumped with every step. He sat down, hands resting on his knees.

"That isn't quite right. You can't read my thoughts, but you have the potential. You have already demonstrated it." He shifted his elbows onto his knees, leaning forward, "Don't pretend like you haven't felt them." His voice was deep, sending a shiver down Rey's spine, "I have felt yours."

"Felt what?" Rey asked, tired of his riddles.

"My emotions. This isn't the first time I've felt a shift in the Force like this. It wasn't as strong, and it was only for a moment, but yesterday when I was taking you to The _Supremacy_ , I felt a sudden burst of what was clearly despair and discomfort. It was most unexpected."

Rey's eyes widened. She recalled the moment they were walking down the halls of The _Finalizer_ , when Kylo suddenly stopped in his tracks, seemingly lost in thought. She had wondered what could have caused him to freeze so abruptly.

"You felt…You felt my emotions?"

Kylo nodded wordlessly. He turned his gaze to the side. She wondered what he was looking at on his side of the connection, "I felt them again," he whispered, "Just now before the connection started. You were in pain. So lost and angry." She watched him tighten his fists, "What happened that made you feel that way?"

Rey chose not to answer his question, not wanting to appear weak in his eyes. Instead she tried to recall a time when she might have felt his emotions. Rey searched her memories for the last time she felt the pull of the Force against her mind. It didn't take her long to remember.

"The throne room," she muttered, "I felt it then. My mind was overwhelmed with feelings that weren't my own. I felt frustration, embarrassment…. regret." Rey caught Kylo go ridged across from her.

"That was you wasn't it? When Snoke spoke of you killing… killing Han. Those were your feelings."

Kylo shot from his seat unexpectedly, striding across the room. The bond between them pulsed against Rey's mind and she knew she had struck a nerve. She felt Kylo try to block her out but she was persistent and eventually broke through his barriers. She could feel his discomfort in the situation, his anger from her comment.

And his remorse for being reminded of the sin he had committed.

"You regret killing your father."

"Stop talking," Kylo snapped back at her. Rey stood swiftly, her anger suddenly flaring to life. She could read him easily. He felt pain for the crime he committed. He didn't deserve to feel guilty after what he had done. She refused to let him push the matter away.

"You wish you hadn't killed Han Solo."

"I told you to stop talking!" he spun around, glaring at the girl, but Rey would not stand down.

"How dare you!"

"How dare I what?" he questioned angrily.

"How dare you regret your actions!"

"What?" he barked in confusion, "That's what you're angry about?"

"You were given a choice. A choice to drop your saber and leave with us or kill Han, and you made the wrong choice." She felt the grief flare up inside him again before it was replaced with irritation.

"Drop the subject now," he ordered.

"No, I will not! What you did was unspeakable. You murdered the man who gave you life and you are only now questioning your decision? You aren't allowed to do that!"

"Who are you to decide that?" he snapped back. He took a step towards her and she moved back on instinct, "people make decisions they regret every day. It's part of being human. Or are you insinuating that I am not a human."

"You are a _monster_. You've slaughtered innocent people, destroyed whole planets. You killed your father believing in that twisted, evil mind of yours that it would free you from the light, but it didn't. You can't choose now to regret your actions. Not now when its already too late."

"Han didn't believe it was too late," he replied and Rey involuntarily flinched, "He wouldn't have confronted me otherwise."

"Don't you dare say his name," she whispered. She was quickly losing control of her emotions. She could almost feel the darkness creeping into her heart, "What you have done is unforgivable. You can't have a sudden change of heart after something like that, it's wrong."

"What would you prefer then?" he challenged. Rey said nothing. He continued to rant, "Would you rather I act indifferent? That I be the monster even _I_ make myself out to be?"

Rey didn't have a response. Kylo knew the answer though. She believed in the light. She thought like every other member of the Resistance. It was so obvious, "Of course, you do. It's so much easier to hate a cold, heartless monster than a man who wishes he could undo his mistakes. Because you now know the truth. I do in fact regret killing Han Solo, and I know I can never fix what I've done. But that doesn't matter now. What matters is what you intend to do now that you know that the mighty Kylo Ren really is a man under his mask."

Rey released a watery gasp. Tears built up in her eyes. She wanted so desperately to yell at him for being wrong, for being a terrible, cruel man, but she could not utter the words.

Because he was right.

She wanted to hate him for all the terrible things he had done and it seemed so easy when all she could judge him by were his past actions. But now the man behind the mask was laid bare and it petrified her to know what she had discovered.

That he was a man. He was a human, who made mistakes, just like her.

Kylo watched her world unfold, however before anything else happened, the bond between them began to fade. When Rey blinked the tears out of her eyes, Kylo Ren was gone.

Rey was left standing there in the silence of her quarters, tears streaming down her cheeks, questioning everything she thought she knew about Kylo Ren.

And herself.

* * *

Zarde came by later that night to drop off Rey's finished uniform. She found the girl sitting on the couch, staring at the adjacent wall, with tear stains on her face.

She tried to get Rey to tell her what happened but Rey wouldn't speak. She didn't think Zarde would understand.

The older woman grew very concerned for her wellbeing. It warmed Rey's heart to know somebody at least cared. She chose to tell her about the mess hall incident rather than the real reason behind her sorrow. Zarde offered her some comforting words of encouragement.

"Gossip is gossip. Give it time. It will go away eventually."

Rey thanked her for her compassion and promised she would do better at ignoring the comments. After stating she would bring the rest of her clothes by the next day, Zarde departed, once again leaving Rey alone with her thoughts.

The young woman chose to retire to bed early that night. She laid face up on her mattress, staring blankly at the ceiling above her. Her body demanded sleep but her brain was wide awake, replaying that day's events. It couldn't let go of what Kylo told her.

 _What matters is what you intend to do now that you know that the mighty Kylo Ren really is a man under his mask._

Even through memory his voice still sent unwanted shivers up her spine, but what he said really got her thinking.

With each encounter with Kylo her opinion seemed to change. There were times he was cruel, taking what he wanted with no regard to how it affected others. Yet there were times when he appeared less like a monster and more like a man. He treated her with gentleness, showed concern when she was upset, maybe even a bit bothered by it. In front of others he let the darkness guide him, but with her, he let his humanity take control.

 _Its like he's battling two different parts within himself. Evil and good. Dark and light._

 _Kylo Ren… and Ben Solo._

The realization literally stole Rey's breathe away. These two parts of the same man were waging war against each other, neither one being entirely in control, but still fighting none the less. It wasn't Kylo who regretted killing Han Solo. It was Ben.

 _Your son is gone._

 _My son is alive._

Han's words to Kylo on the bridge rang with new meaning to her. He had been right all along. Ben Solo was still there. Appearing here and there from day to day but never able to take control. Kylo might not choose to admit it aloud but he knew it too.

Ben Solo was alive.

Rey strangely felt overcome with sorrow and pity. Kylo was struggling far more then she could fathom. The things she had said to him, earlier that day and in the past, were doing nothing but help Kylo beat Ben into submission. She was only making things worse for Han and Leia's son.

 _Han died believing he could be saved. Maybe he wasn't wrong._

Rey closed her eyes, sleep slowly claiming her. She thought of the man who was now her master. The inner struggle he tried to mask with rage and terror. A mask that no longer fooled her. She had seen who he was without it, and she didn't think she could go back.

She didn't want to. That was her last thought as sleep took her.

* * *

The following day Rey chose to remain in her room. Phasma told her Kylo would be back from his "special mission" later that afternoon so she saw no reason to leave.

She decided to try on her new uniform Zarde had provided for her. The material used was vaguely similar to Kylo Ren's, but resembled her own attire. She wore a black sleeveless tunic with black arm bands. It also came with a black shawl-like material that she wrapped around her body like her previous one, held together with a thick, black belt. The black pants and combat boots were new to her but she would adapt.

She had to go to the mess hall to get food at some point, so to avoid the same situation as the day before she chose to leave later in the day. The mess hall was mostly empty save for maybe twelve or so people who were off duty. They still stared and murmured amongst themselves but it was far less overwhelming.

After eating she prepared to return to her room. She was heading in that direction when she heard a loud beep through the halls. Her head shot up toward the ceiling where she spotted a p.a. loudspeaker.

 _Would Lady Rey please report to the hanger bay. Again, would Lady Rey please report to the hangar bay._

Rey blinked in surprise. Was that message addressed to her? She assumed there were no other women with her name on board, but "Lady"? The title seemed a bit unnecessary.

Turning on her feet she went back in the direction she knew the hangar bay was. She hoped they were referring to her, if not then hopefully they wouldn't be angry with her. There was no real reason to be.

She found the hangar with relative ease. She had to ask a stormtrooper for directions but was alright afterwards. Just like before it was full of people rushing to get their duties done. Rey wondered if it was ever peaceful in there. Most everyone just moved past her, not even glancing her way. She did notice someone marching her way. It took her a moment to realize it was Captain Phasma.

"Lady Rey," she addressed her. Rey nodded once, still not sure she liked her new title.

"You are to report to command shuttle R-53."

"Um, okay," replied Rey, fiddling with her fingers, "can I ask why?"

"It will be explained when you arrive at the shuttle." was the captain's answer. Rey offered her a nod of gratitude before awkwardly walking past her towards the shuttles. There were a total of three in the hangar. The first one didn't have a crew checking it before takeoff so she was sure that wasn't the ship she was leaving on. The middle one had plenty of personnel running around it, however instead of loading things onto it they were taking things out. Rey assumed the ship had just docked.

That meant the last ship was hers.

There was a small crew prepping the ship for departure. Nobody said anything when Rey approached. She took this as a sign that she could just enter the ship and no one would stop her. Rey stepped onto the ramp and climbed into the shuttle. She found a group of benches like the ones on the first shuttle she was on and decided to sit down.

She sat there patiently for a couple minutes, wondering where it was she was going. Kylo had yet to return so it seemed odd that she was getting shipped somewhere without him.

As she was pondering this, a young officer approached her, "All is in order for departure Miss." Rey was startled by his sudden appearance.

"Oh, alright," she said hesitantly, looking around the small cabin. There were two crates on the far end of the ship, but other than that nothing, "is anyone else coming?"

The man shook his head, "Just you and the pilot Miss. He should already be in the cockpit."

"Okay then. Thank you for your report," she replied. She grew increasingly more nervous with each passing second. She had no idea what was happening and nobody was giving her a clear answer. The officer nodded, marching out of the ship. When he left she stood up and carefully shifted towards the door to the cockpit of the ship. She waited for the ship's ramp to lift and seal itself shut before finally stepping through the door to see who her only companion on her voyage would be.

On the other side, in the pilot's chair, sat Kylo Ren.

Rey stood wide eyed in the doorway, Kylo facing her. His mask was on again along with his cape. Rey understood now why he wore them. He was trying to shut himself off.

 _Off from you._

"I didn't know you were back," was all Rey could muster. Kylo spun his chair around, clicking several buttons on his control panel.

"You saw the maintenance workers unloading a different shuttle, did you not?"

Rey bit back a curse. She did see that. She felt stupid for not putting two and two together. Kylo pressed a button next to a small speaker, "Permission to depart?" A voice came over his com speaker, one that Rey recognized as General Hux.

 _"Permission granted._ _You have been cleared for departure Ren,"_ he said in a very clipped, professional tone. Kylo pressed several more buttons and Rey watched silently.

She wondered if he was angry with her from the other day. It would certainly explain why he didn't tell her of his return or their sudden trip. He didn't want to bother speaking to her. Rey was brought to back to reality when the engine started to hum. Kylo looked at her over his shoulder.

"The journey would be more comfortable if you took a seat." He gestured to the co-pilot seat beside him.

The old Rey would have shot him a snarky remark before retreating into the cabin just to annoy him. But after all the terrible things she had said to him the previous night, she didn't think it would be appropriate.

 _Or fair._

Rey took the seat beside him. If he was surprised by her obedience he didn't show it. Flipping several more switches, Kylo Ren slowly lifted the shuttle and flew it into open space. When they were far enough away from The _Finalizer_ he ignited the hyper drive. There was no turning back now.

Rey pondered on what to say to him. The first thing that came to mind was an apology, but her pride was as big as his own and she couldn't will herself to say it. Instead she asked what had been plaguing her since she was first asked to report to the hangar bay.

"Where exactly are we going?" Kylo Ren stared out at the stars that passed by like flurries of light.

"We are going to Ilum." Rey scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. She was unfamiliar with that planet., "Why?" Kylo turned to face her.

"To get you a lightsaber."

 **My favorite thing about writing is that I have roughly everything planned out and I tell myself, "This chapter is supposed to be short. Don't overdue it." Then several days later I have a single chapter over 3,000 words long. I don't know, it's just something I personally find funny.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I've read a lot of theories that Ilum is the planet Snoke used to build Starkiller Base, but after comparing the two planets I really don't think that is the case. Ilum was practically uninhabitable and completely icy while Starkiller is snowy with rock formations and trees. Don't take my word on this, it's just the conclusion I have come to. Enjoy.**

Rey gawked at Kylo Ren, not bothering to hide her surprise, "Build my own lightsaber? How? With what? I already have one."

"No," replied Kylo, not taking his eyes off his controls, "You had the Skywalker lightsaber. The saber that belonged to my uncle and his father before him. _You_ are not a Skywalker and don't deserve it."

Rey crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest, "I deserve it more than you."

"It is my birthright," he growled.

"If you are saying that because Darth Vader is your grandfather then you are wrong."

Kylo spun around to face her. She couldn't see his face behind the mask but knew his eyes had darkened with anger.

"Would you mind clarifying that statement," he requested through gritted teeth. His clear frustration towards her made Rey's blood boil.

"That lightsaber did not belong to Darth Vader."

"Oh? Then who did it belong to?" sarcasm laced his staticky voice and Rey did not appreciate it.

"It belonged to Anakin Skywalker."

"They were the same person."

" _No_ ," she emphasized, "They were not. Anakin was a Jedi Knight, one of the strongest to ever live. Darth Vader was a murderous villain who brought terror to the galaxy. They might have been the same _man_ but not the same person. If you're trying to convince me that _that_ saber belonged to a man bathed in despair and darkness then you're right, it doesn't belong to me. I don't want anything to do with Darth Vader."

Kylo's fist clenched in frustration. He was sick and tired of always arguing with her. The last thing he needed was another one of her conversations regarding ethics and the light. He raised his other hand, pointing at Rey accusingly, "We could debate about this all the way to Ilum, but I will not be lectured by my _apprentice_ about the moral standing of my grandfather." He slammed his fist on the panel, startling Rey a bit, "Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader are the same person. His morality does not matter. Whether you like it or not, that lightsaber _does_ belong to me, and I don't want to hear another word out of you regarding it." He then spun around, focusing on the passing stars. Rey huffed loudly, looking the opposite way.

The man could be so infuriating.

 _You're not much better_ , she thought to herself. She shook the thought away, _He's being ridiculous! I don't need another saber. He's being a child! Believing he has to preserve his grandfather's legacy when NO ONE WANTS HIM TO! EVERYONE HATED VADER!_

 _And does everyone hate Ben Solo?_

 _Most everyone_ , she pouted childishly to herself. Her practicality shot back.

 _Not Kylo Ren. Ben Solo._

Rey paused, unprepared for her own thought. As indiscreetly as possible, Rey glanced over her shoulder, looking at her new master. Kylo didn't seem to notice her staring at him. He continued to watch the stars pass in the blink of an eye. She reached out through the bond, finding that the anger that had previously been there was no longer present.

This was probably the most composed she had ever seen him. No anger. No fear. No regret.

He was just t _here_ , in front of her.

He seemed like a completely different person.

 _I like him this way._

Rey squeezed her arms, turning away from him again. She hated herself for letting the thought cross her mind, but at the same time she was disappointed in herself. She had made up her mind last night that she would try to see the good in Ben Solo rather than let Kylo Ren warp her view of him. In her arrogance and pride she allowed Kylo to take the reigns and force Ben farther inside himself. There was no one to blame but her. Whether she liked it or not, _she_ would have to be the one to take those steps to bring Ben Solo out of Kylo Ren.

"We're coming out of hyperspace," he muttered a few minutes later. Rey watched the ship drop out of hyper speed, coming to a sudden stop in front of a planet.

Rey's mouth dropped in shock.

Huge craters covered the ice planet's surface. Debris from what appeared to be the planets crust floated around the planet like dust. What was once probably a beautiful, icy sanctuary was now left a hollow skeleton.

"What happened here?" Rey questioned, sitting up in her seat.

"Before the Empire," he replied, prepping for landing procedures on his console, "The Jedi Order considered this a sacred place. They would take their younglings into the caves of this world to find kyber crystals, the power source for lightsabers. When the order was destroyed, Emperor Palpatine had the crystals mined and extracted to power the Death Star. This is what was left."

"That's terrible," Rey murmured, placing a hand against the glass. Kylo nodded softly. Despite what most believed, Kylo took no pride in the destruction of planets. He was against the creation of Starkiller from the beginning. As a child his mother had told him the tragedy of Alderaan, her home planet, and while he and his mother no longer held the same views, he did believe the destruction of entire planets was unnecessary and brutal.

"If the Emperor mined out all the crystals then how am I supposed to find one to construct a lightsaber?" said Rey.

"This planet was the closest to our coordinates that I knew once had crystals. If there are none then we shall move on, but if there are, then the Force will aid you in finding one." Kylo turned to face Rey. She hesitantly looked back, still worried he was angry at her. Kylo recognized this and sighed. He knew he had been too hard on her. It was going to take time for the two of them to reach equal terms with one another. He would have to do better controlling his irritation.

"This is your first lesson Rey. Trust that the Force will lead you to what you seek."

Rey didn't respond, instead choosing to stare out the window again. He hoped at the very least that if she didn't trust him she would trust the Force.

She would need to if she were to survive.

Kylo piloted the ship down to the planet's surface. Rey stared at it in wonder. While all the craters and abandoned Imperial equipment were eyesores, the planet's white surface captivated Rey. Her only other experience with snow and ice had been Starkiller Base.

 _I wonder if I'll ever enjoy ice's beauty without some military power being involved._

The ship hovered slowly down to the ground, shaking the icy dust free from the surface. The ship settled with a jerk which didn't bother its occupants. Rey waited for the dust to clear to get a better view of what stood outside.

She gaped at the large structure that stood before them. It appeared to be an entrance of some sort built into the mountainside. It was mostly destroyed, large chunks of ice laying around it.

Kylo Ren stood from his seat without a word, strolling into the cabin of the shuttle. Rey scrunched her eyebrows in confusion before following after him.

She found him on the far side of the shuttle, opening one of the boxes the maintenance workers put onboard. He pulled out something large and furry. Without turning around, he chucked it at Rey who barely caught it.

"What-?"

"Put that on. You'll need it."

Rey held it out in front of her. It was a fur coat with a black sash around the waist. In the pocket she found three ration bars.

"Catch," he called. Rey looked up just in time to grab a small communication device. She eyed it in confusion.

"What is this for?" she asked. Kylo grabbed the other box, forcing it open.

"You'll need that should you run into trouble," was his reply.

She blinked, "are you not coming with me?" Kylo shook his head.

"Building a lightsaber is a sacred tradition. Younglings would go in alone when they came of age." He glanced over his shoulder, eyes meeting hers through his helmet, "You should be able to handle this on your own. You are what, twenty?"

"Nineteen," Rey corrected. Kylo shrugged, "I was close enough. You'll be fine in there."

"Then why give me a communicator at all?"

Kylo stood, walking back into the cockpit. A second or two passed before the ramp clamps released and the ramp lowered itself down. Rey shivered involuntarily, rubbing her arms to generate heat. Kylo exited the cockpit and sat down by the boxes again.

"No more questions. You'll have to go soon before the sun sets. If there are any crystals in there you will feel it. It shouldn't be hard for you. You were a scavenger after all."

Rey pouted, "You know, being called a scavenger isn't exactly a complement." Rey pulled the coat on, wrapping it tightly around herself and descended down the ramp. She didn't know he was smirking behind his helmet.

The ice crunched under feet quietly. Rey made her way towards the broken entrance of the cave. It was rather difficult with all the boulders in the way. She slipped once trying to climb, banging her knee. She bit back a curse, hoping Kylo didn't see her blunder. Ignoring the pain, she found a way in and slipped through with ease.

Rey gasped upon seeing the inside. She was in what appeared to be a temple. Most of it was destroyed, but she couldn't help imagining what it looked like in it's prime.

She spotted a small opening on the far side of the room. Rey made her way to the entrance, glancing inside apprehensively. It was dark which made Rey nervous. Kylo didn't give her a light source and she didn't have the Skywalker lightsaber anymore. She looked around the room, hoping the imperials left something behind she could use. A small drill sat a few meters away. Rey walked over, searching around the machine. A satchel hung off the side of it and Rey grabbed it. She found a small hand-held lamp inside along with one battery pack She hoped it had enough juice to last a few hours. She quickly switched out the batteries and pressed the power button, fingers crossed. She laughed happily when it flickered on.

Rey carefully entered the cave, hand steadying herself against the wall. The longer she was in there she discovered, the more she hated it. It was darker than she anticipated, the only light being that of her lamp that reflected off the ice's shiny surface. Cold air blew through every once in a while, causing Rey to shudder.

The worse part was the silence. She was used to being quiet. Back on Jakku she would spend hours inside old Star Destroyers alone with nobody but herself. But she was used to that kind of silence. In those moments she could think to herself, allow her imagination to wander as she performed her tasks. Here it was different. All she could think about was the kyber crystal so her mind was hyper aware of how horrifyingly silent it was.

She wandered for what felt like hours. She ran into several large cervices, created by the Empire during their mining and had to find different ways around. Rey reached out through the Force on multiple occasions, trying to feel for a crystal, but received no answer.

She was half tempted to contact Kylo, if to at least have someone to talk to. He would probably berate her for using the communicator for a dumb reason. She pushed the idea to the back of her head to be considered later.

A couple more hours passed with no luck. Rey's body was feeling weak. She had eaten her last ration bar ages ago but was still hungry. Her knees shook under her from the cold and from the walking. Rey sucked in a shaky breath, leaning up against the wall. She slid down, hugging herself tightly. She needed a break.

She placed the lamp in front of her, holding her hands in front of it for a small bit of warmth.

"I-I h-hate ice pl-lanets," she whispered. She glanced down the way she came previously. It was probably almost sunset. She would have to head back to the command shuttle. Rey hoped she would be able to find her way back.

"If y-younglings c-could do i-it, t-then you c-can R-Rey," she told herself. Her eyelids started to feel heavy. She knew it was a terrible time to drift off to sleep, but it was so hard to resist. Her eyes shut completely.

Suddenly a familiar sensation resonated through her, warming her insides. She found the will to open her eyes and was welcomed to the sight of Kylo Ren.

He sat directly in front of her in a meditative position. His helmet was gone, his eyes were closed and he didn't acknowledge her presence. She wondered if he even knew she was there. She took that moment to take in his face, since she saw it so rarely. It appeared that he had received extra medical attention on his scar. It had been stitched up leaving a thin line from his forehead down his neck. His black hair fell lightly over his eyes and Rey wanted to brush it back a bit. The thought startled Rey so she decided to break the silence.

"Is this going to b-be a p-permanent thing?" she questioned softly. Kylo inhaled a deep breathe, eyes still closed.

"I actually tried looking it up in The _Ravenous_ archives while on my mission."

Rey, she gave him a shaky smile, "And are you g-going to t-tell me about this m-mission of y-yours?" He opened her eyes but did not answer her query. Rey shrugged, "Can't h-help it. I'm c-curious."

"You're cold," he stated dryly. Rey let her head tilt to the side. He clicked his tongue, "Right. That was dumb of me to say."

"W-What did you f-find? About t-the bond I mean," she whispered. Kylo watched her trembled from the cold, pity in his eyes. He had a feeling it would be a bad idea sending her into the caves. She wasn't used to such frigid climates. He sent his feelings of regret through the bond so she would know. Rey sucked in a shaky breath, not prepared for his empathy.

"There wasn't very much," he said, "at least nothing that pertained to our situation."

"Are you going to ask Snoke about it?" She did not stutter. She wanted him to know how serious her question was. Rey had no idea what Snoke would do if he knew about such a bond between them. It had the potential to be dangerous. He straightened his back.

"No. He doesn't need to know."

Rey visibly relaxed upon hearing that. The thought of that terrible man knowing about something so personal was nerve-racking. Kylo sensed her alleviation but said nothing. Knowing her, she would get all embarrassed.

"W-What were you doing before t-the bond a-activated?" she asked curiously. She wondered what he had been doing to pass the time while she was gone.

"That is a secret," was his reply. Rey's eyebrows scrunched together and she could have sworn the corners of his lips turned up for a split second.

"Should I b-be concerned?"

"No, but I'm still not going to tell you." Rey bit the inside of her mouth. She could try reading his mind, taking the information from him, but she didn't want to. He swore he wouldn't read her mind if she didn't read his. So far, he had held true to that promise and she would do the same. She was actually surprised he had.

"I really thought you would have tried to read my thoughts by now," she muttered softly. His face held an expression Rey could not place. He looked down at his hands, resting on his knees. He bit his lip, a gesture Rey found herself smiling at. His eyes met hers once again.

"I guess you don't know me as well as you think." Rey blinked slowly, her past regret taking hold of her heart. She allowed him to feel it through the bond. His shoulders went ridged and she knew she had surprised him.

"I think you're right."

His eyes widened a small fraction at her confession. As he opened his mouth to reply, Rey heard something echo through the corridor. Her head shot in that direction, her previous weariness vanishing. She jumped to her feet in an instant.

"Rey? What's happening?" he asked, his tone once again serious. Rey didn't respond, listening carefully. The sound of ice hitting the floor echoed through the chamber, followed by a light crunch.

She wasn't alone.

"Rey!" Kylo called out to her, but the connection broke off. Kylo's last expression being one of concern. Without another thought, Rey went sprinting into the opposite direction. Her feet slid against the icy floor. She started panting, out of tiredness and fear. She didn't know what was behind her but she was weaponless and had to get far away.

She ran through another corridor, her hands reaching out to steady herself. Her sides ached but she pressed forward.

She ran face to face with a wall of solid ice. There was no way around it. She would have to go back. Turning around to go back the way she came, Rey jumped when a loud crackling sound came from the corridor behind her. She panted loudly. Her pursuer was right behind her. There was nowhere to go. Rey stared at the path ahead of her where the next path intersected. The crackling grew louder with each passing second. Rey wondered if she had something she could use to throw at her follower. She felt nothing in her pockets and had foolishly left her lamp behind. The sound of footsteps on the ice could be heard. She could see a light reflecting off the surface of the floor. Her heart stopped.

The light was red.

From behind the corridor stepped Kylo Ren. He was wearing his helmet once more, along with the cowl he had back on Starkiller Base. Rey stepped backwards, her foot sliding a bit as she did.

"Kylo?" she questioned. He said nothing. He marched forward purposefully. Rey's eyes widened, memories of Takodana flooding her mind. He lifted his lightsaber.

"Ben!"

The lightsaber came down swiftly. Rey dodged it just barely. Without a moments hesitation she sprinted past him.

 _That's not him_ , she thought. Kylo had been talking to her just prior to her encounter and she really doubted he was trying to trick her, _it must be a projection. A hallucination of some sort._

Whatever it was it was closing behind her fast. She turned down another path. If she could find her way back to the command shuttle then the real Kylo could help her. She just had to find her way back.

 _That might not be an option_ , she could hear the imposters boots echoing through the halls as he ran. Her heartrate continued to increase in total panic. She was running out of time.

She entered a small cavern. Imperial equipment was scattered all across the floor. One large drill leaned up against the wall, holding up the entry way.

 _Trust the Force._

Rey bit her lip, recalling Kylo's instructions. She turned to face the entry way she came through. Throwing her hands forward, she reached out through the Force. Her eyes closed tight, Rey could hear the imposter closing in fast. The drill against the wall began to creek. It trembled under the pressure of the Force. Kylo Ren appeared in the entry way. Her eyes snapping open, Rey threw her arms downward, the drill falling with them.

The cavern around her began to shake. Rey fell down to her knees from the shock. Chunks of ice fell from the entry way, on top of the hallucination of Kylo Ren. However, it did not stop there. More and more pieces of ice fell dangerously close to Rey. Pulling herself off the floor, she threw herself into the hall just as the ice destroyed the cavern.

Rey steadied herself onto her elbows, her body aching from the fall. She gasped, running a hand through the hair that had fallen from her buns. She glanced back at what was left of the cavern. It was completely filled with ice boulders. Her hallucination could not have survived. A sigh of relief slipped past her lips.

Suddenly, a faint glow resonated behind Rey. Frozen in place, Rey didn't know if the light was another illusion. She clenched her fists. She wouldn't know if it was safe if she didn't look. Hesitantly, Rey cast a glance over her shoulder.

* * *

Kylo kicked a boulder hard, knocking it from its spot and splitting it in half. He climbed over it, running down the next corridor.

"Rey!" he called out, his breath visible because of the temperature. He was in such a hurry to find Rey after their bond severed he didn't even bother putting his mask back on. The minute he saw her fearful expression he knew something was wrong and ran to the caves.

He only hoped he wasn't too late.

 _She can take care of herself_ , he kept trying to remind himself, but it did little to calm his nerves. She had no weapons and if she was in the presence of something hostile-

"Rey!" he called out again. He heard a rock roll on the ground several feet away. His hand flew to his hip where his lightsaber was. He gripped it tightly, waiting for the right moment.

His grip released when Rey rounded the corner.

She was trembling furiously, her feet stepping unevenly on the frozen floor. She mis-stepped and went falling. Without a second thought Kylo rushed to her, catching her before she hit the ground. He lowered her to the ground gently. He ran his hands up and down her arms hoping to warm her a bit.

"What happened? What attacked you?" he demanded. He could hear her teeth chattering. Kylo held her closer on instinct.

"A-A h-hallucination," she muttered, "I t-took c-care of i-it."

"I need to get you out of here," Kylo breathed out, "Forget this. We'll find a different planet to get the crystal." To his surprise Rey shook her head. Rey brought a shaky hand to the inside of her coat. She reached in and slowly brought her closed fist back out. She opened her fist and Kylo gasped.

Sitting in the center of her palm was a kyber crystal, and from it a brilliant white light emanated.

"I-I did it," she said smiling. Kylo's eyes shifted back to hers. Through them she could tell how pleased he was with her work. She didn't think she would see anything more satisfying coming from Kylo. She was proven wrong a moment later when he smiled at her. A true smile, full of pride.

"Yes, you did, my apprentice."

Kylo slipped his arms under her legs, hoisting her up into the air. Rey didn't argue with him. She was too tired to care, and in truth didn't mind. He was nice and warm. She laid her head against his chest, right where his heart was. It's peaceful rhythm lulled Rey into a powerful slumber. Kylo shook his head when he heard her soft snoring, but didn't try to wake her. He looked down at the crystal resting in her hand. He would tell her later what it meant to have such a unique crystal, but for the time being, he would let her sleep.

She earned it.

 **WOW, that one was the longest by far! I hope you can all forgive me for being a little behind schedule. Tests! What can you do, right? Leave a comment! Favorite! Follow! Have a fabulous day!**


	8. Chapter 8

Upon reaching the command shuttle, Kylo placed Rey on one of the benches and fetched a standard First Order blanket for her. She said nothing as he wrapped it around her. She hoped her cheeks were red enough from the cold that he couldn't tell she was blushing.

"Wait right here, I'll get you a ration pack," he instructed, striding to the crates on the other side of the cabin. Rey watched his movements like a hawk. He leaned over the crate, searching for the ration packs the maintenance crew had put onboard. When he found one he gave it to Rey. The girl struggled to open it, her hands still frozen. Wordlessly, Kylo took it from her and opened it. She whispered a thank you to him then he took a seat on the bench opposite of her.

She held the pack in her stiff hands. Kylo sighed.

"You need to eat. You were in those caves for almost five hours. Eat." He ordered. Rey didn't move. She stared down at the pack for several more minutes. Kylo wondered if she was in worse condition then he thought. He was about to offer assistance when he heard her mutter something under her breath, "I can't hear you. Can you repeat that?"

"Thank you."

Kylo blinked in confusion, "For what?"

Rey bit her lip nervously, "For coming into the caves to find me. For warming me up. For carrying me out of there. You didn't have to do all that stuff." Kylo wrung his gloved fingers together. Rey bit back a smile at the sight of the blush growing on his cheeks.

"Of course, I did. You're my apprentice now, your safety is my responsibility. Once I knew you were in danger I had to act."

"Still," continued Rey, "It was a very thoughtful thing of you to do." Kylo offered her a small smile. Rey dug a hand into her ration pack and ate silently. Kylo went to check on something in the cockpit for a few minutes before returning to his seat in front of Rey. She had practically scarfed down the contents of the ration bag while he was gone. Rey opened her mouth to speak the moment he sat down again.

"I've been unfair to you," she admitted. Kylo quirked an eyebrow. She continued, "I haven't been treating you very well. I assumed you were nothing but a cruel monster and kept provoking you to try and prove it. I was wrong."

A sigh slipped past his lips. Kylo lifted a hand and ran it through his thick black hair, trying to determine how to respond. His eyes met hers and he held them firmly.

"I am a monster Rey. I have done unspeakable things in the name of Snoke and the First Order. Just because I show you compassion doesn't make any of that less true."

"You're right," she replied, "you've done terrible things, but there is light in your heart. I sense it. I just wish I knew why you choose to ignore it."

"I ignore it because it is weakness. I did not become what I am today by embracing The Light. The Light Side only brought suffering to me. It would be foolish of me to embrace the one thing that makes me suffer."

"Funny, I was about to say the same for the Dark Side."

A pregnant silence filled the small cabin. Kylo stood from his spot and strolled up to the open crates. Rey watched him dig through them, searching for something specific. He pulled out several small objects Rey didn't recognize. A small pile of several different things sat beside him when he was done. Scooping them off the floor, Kylo walked back to where Rey sat. He placed all the items in front of her gently before seating himself on the floor in front of her.

"What's all this?" she inquired.

"The materials you need to build your lightsaber," was his response. Rey froze, Excitement and anxiousness overtaking her.

"Crafting a lightsaber is a special milestone in the life of a Force user, Jedi and Sith alike. The lightsaber is an extension of oneself. It represents your power in the Force and your connection to it. Through the Force you will know how to construct it to fit your needs," he told her. Rey nodded in understanding, finding his speech fascinating. As frustrated as she was to give up the Skywalker lightsaber, she was actually looking forward to constructing one that would be her own, special to her and her alone.

Kylo looked down at the pile of equipment before him, "What I have here are materials required to construct a lightsaber. Many Jedi would actually use the Force to construct their sabers, but you are more of a hands-on person so I have tools as well. Be careful in your construction. If you aren't and the crystal and the hilt are incompatible then it could explode in your hand."

Rey gulped silently. She did not want that happening. Kylo rose to his feet, "I will allow you to construct your saber by yourself. If you require my assistance then I will be meditating in the cockpit. We will leave the planet once you have finished." As he approached the entrance to the cockpit, he cast Rey one final glance, "Remember, let the Force guide you through it." With that the door slid shut.

Rey released a puff of air, clapping her hands together. She could do this. She could build her own lightsaber.

 _How hard could it be?_

* * *

 _Apparently very hard._

Rey sat down on the shuttle floor, the blanket pooling around her legs. In front of her sat several attempts at her lightsaber hilt. All were failures.

She growled in irritation. Rey had been struggling to get the hilt right for nearly two hours. Every time she tried it with the crystal inside it would short circuit and she would have to start over. She was on her fifth attempt and she was growing impatient.

True to his word Kylo had not bothered her in that time. She cast the cockpit door a glance. She wondered of he had been meditating the whole time or grew bored halfway through. Whatever the case, he said they would not leave Ilum until she was done.

 _We could be here a while_ , she thought bitterly. She screwed the last part into her fifth hilt and sighed deeply, "This better work." Placing the crystal inside the hilt, Rey clicked it on.

Several sparks came from the top of the hilt. Nothing more. Rey groaned.

Tossing the failed saber to the side, Rey pulled her knees up to her face. She did not expect it to be this hard. She ran a hand over her tired face, "Why can't I get this right?" Rey was sure she would have a working saber by now. She didn't understand what she was doing wrong.

Tears of frustration began to build in her eyes. She rubbed them furiously. She wouldn't cry over something so trivial.

There had to be a better way to do it.

 _Remember, let the Force guide you through it._

Kylo's instructions from earlier crossed her mind. She recalled him stating that many Jedi would literally use the Force to put together their hilts. Maybe she could try that.

Reaching out to through the Force, Rey brought her discarded hilt into her hand. She gripped it tightly, "One more try."

She raised the hilt in front of her before using the Force to keep it in the air. She shifted herself into a meditative position. Taking in a deep breath, she closed her eyes, allowing the Force to guide her.

She could feel it all around her. The energy surrounded her like the blanket had several hours earlier. It was nice. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced before. Everything around her was moving in such perfect harmony. She could sense Good and Evil. She felt Life and Death. The Light. The Dark.

All in unquestionable balance.

Rey's eyes snapped open. All at once the overwhelming power of the Force disappeared. She was slightly disappointed that it ended so suddenly, however her attention was drawn to something equally magnificent.

Before her, floating a foot or two off the ground was the hilt of a lightsaber. It appeared sleek in several parts along with several patches of just random materials meshed together. It represented her in everyway, she didn't know why this design was not her very first.

Hesitantly she reached out and took it. It felt natural in her hand. Rey rose to her feet, letting the blanket fall carelessly to the floor. She wrapped her other hand around the hilt.

 _Time for the moment of truth._

She clicked it on.

Her mouth dropped in awe. A short laugh escaped, tumbling from her lips. She brought a hand up to her mouth to hold back the excitement. All the pain and frustration had been worth it.

Kylo must have heard her because not one second later the door to the cockpit slid open. His eyes were immediately drawn to the glowing blade Rey held in her hands. She looked up at him smiling, hoping some of her happiness was reaching him. Kylo offered her a congratulatory smile before looking back at the blade. An expression Rey could not place flashed across his face as he looked at the lightsaber. He seemed pleased, and at the same time a knowing smile graced his face.

Almost like he knew something she didn't.

It did not matter to Rey. She was pleased with her new saber. Kylo had been right, it did feel like an extension of herself and she didn't want any other lightsaber.

With that in mind, Rey smiled proudly, the white blade of her lightsaber making her eyes sparkle.

* * *

Kylo and Rey had said goodbye to Ilum thirty minutes after. Rey could say for certainty that she never wanted to return to the planet.

"It wasn't that bad was it?" Kylo questioned when they had entered hyperspace. Rey threw her arms out dramatically.

"Of course, it was! You weren't trapped in there for five hours alone with no food or natural light."

"You're exaggerating."

"You wouldn't be saying that if our places had been switched," she shot back. He thought about it for a second before nodding in agreement. Rey smiled in victory, leaning back farther in her chair, "Anyway, I am glad we came here. Otherwise I wouldn't have gotten such a cool lightsaber."

A ghost of a smile graced Kylo's face, "It is indeed."

"Hey why is it white by the way?" Kylo was about to press a button on his panel before Rey asked her question. He drew his hand back, eyes still staring straight ahead.

"I've heard stories," he started, catching Rey's interest, "of men and women who were Force sensitive, but did not believe in the Jedi or the Sith way. Instead they chose a middle ground which was called the Grey Jedi Order. They had lightsabers that look like yours."

"Grey Jedi?" Rey breathed curiously, "What made them different from regular Jedi."

"Like me," he said with a hint of bitterness in his voice, "they believed the order to be corrupt. They were prideful when they should have been compassionate. It was their hubris that led to their downfall. The Sith were no better. Their lust for power led to their destruction. Grey Jedi believed in the teachings of both the Light Side and the Dark Side, without fully divulging in either. At least, that's what I understood from the Grey Jedi Code."

"There's a code?" asked Rey. Kylo nodded. Rey's interest piqued, "What is it? Do you remember?"

"Flowing through all, there is balance. There is no peace without a passion to create. There is no passion without peace to guide. Knowledge stagnates without the strength to act. Power blinds without the serenity to see. There is freedom in life. There is purpose in death. The Force is all things and I am the Force."

Rey said nothing for a couple minutes, thinking over what she heard. Kylo let her think, readjusting their course. When he was done she spoke.

"I think I like that code."

Kylo hummed, "I thought you would." He paused, choosing his next words cautiously, "On Starkiller Base… during our duel, when you called on the Force to aid you, I could sense something within you I had never felt before. I felt true balance in the Force."

Rey was taken back by his words. She didn't remember much from the woods, but the more she thought about it the more she could recall that warm feeling that engulfed her, providing her with the power needed to defeat Kylo Ren. The same power she felt when constructing her saber.

Balance.

"Well it makes sense," Rey said, eyes meeting Kylo's, "The galaxy isn't just black and white with a clear line between the two. You can't have one side of the Force without the other. There has to be a balance." Rey bit her lip, ashamed of her next words, "I have had dark thoughts from time to time. When I was angry or scared. Or lonely."

Kylo stared at her.

"But despite all that the light still remains. They are both present, I just choose to follow the light. I could never walk the path of darkness, but that doesn't mean I want to ignore it. I need it. It's the only way I can have harmony."

They sat there staring at each other for what felt like an eternity. Neither knew what else to say. Nothing needed to be said. A small beep came from Kylo's console that pulled his attention, "We are dropping out of hyperspace. The _Finalizer_ should be at the rendezvous coordinates."

"I'm sure Hux will be excited to see us,' said Rey sarcastically. She pulled her lightsaber from her belt, flipping it in the air and catching it again, "Hope he knows not to mess with me now."

"Hux is a weasel of a man, but he is a coward at heart. But you just reminded me," Kylo reached down next to his chair. Rey could barely see a black satchel on the other side of his chair, however she couldn't tell what he was pulling out. He found what he was looking for quickly.

"Hold out your hand," he instructed. Rey did so. He placed the object he had pulled from his satchel into her outstretched hand.

It took Rey a moment to register what it was she was holding. When she did her mouth dropped in disbelief.

It was a lightsaber.

It was sleek and black and felt rather heavy in her hand. Rey looked up at Kylo, mouth still open and her eyes wide with disbelief, "How long have you had this?"

"Not long. I made it while you were in the caves. It was the surprise I wouldn't tell you about." Rey's eyebrows scrunched up and Kylo almost found it comical.

Almost.

"What was the point of going into that death trap if you were going to make a lightsaber for me?!" Kylo sighed in exasperation. He gestured toward the lightsaber, "Turn it on."

Rey pouted angrily, irritated and confused by his actions. She did what he asked though and held the lightsaber in front of her, pressing the on button.

She blinked in surprise when it came to life, "its… its red?"

"You're welcome."

"I don't understand," Rey said, turning the saber off and facing Kylo again. She noticed his uneasy expression and her stomach flipped. What was worrying him?

"I was being honest with you when I said it was important that you craft your _own_ saber. You'll feel more comfortable with it." He brought a gloved hand to his face, stroking his chin, "I figured when you found your kyber crystal, it would reflect aspects of yourself, and it did in an incredible, unexpected way. However, there are others who don't share my opinion."

"Snoke?" Rey asked, a shiver running down her spine. Kylo nodded, "not only him, but the Knights of Ren. They were once padawan's under Skywalker like myself, but they chose the path of the Dark Side. If any of them find out about your lightsaber-"

"They'll know I'm not committed to the Dark Side, "she finished, "which would be bad."

Kylo nodded, "In the presence of the Supreme Leader and the Knights of Ren, I would like you to carry that saber around with you for your own safety. In training and in private you will use the saber you constructed, but if anyone asks, this one," he said pointing to the red lightsaber, "is the one you made."

"Will they believe that?" she asked skeptically.

"The Knights probably will. Snoke I'm not so sure. Either way, keep it with you." Rey eyed the new saber doubtfully but clipped it onto her belt none the less. She then handed him her real saber which he put in the satchel beside his chair. "Thank you," she muttered.

"You're welcome. We'll be dropping out of hyperspace in just a moment."

"Can I ask a question?" Kylo nodded, "Where did you get the kyber crystal for this lightsaber?" she asked pointing to the new one on her belt. She watched him tense up anxiously.

"Snoke has a collection of corrupted kyber crystals. The one in my lightsaber is from that collection." Rey reached through the bond and could sense he was telling the truth, however he still seemed tense.

"If that's the case then won't Snoke know if you gave me one of his crystals?" Kylo did not respond, instead choosing to press several more buttons on his panel. She watched him carefully, noticing a thin sheen of sweat gathering on his forehead. Something clicked inside her head and she jumped back in her chair, "You stole one, didn't you?"

Kylo didn't say anything. Rey was thankful that he wasn't wearing his helmet. It was so much easier to read him without it and from the look in his eyes she knew she hit it spot on.

"You did steal it!"

"Don't yell."

"You aren't denying it!"

"He never uses them. He won't even notice it's gone."

"Is that a confession I hear?" she asked teasingly. He shot her a glare but she saw no hatred in it. He wasn't comfortable with being teased by her. That in itself made her smile.

"I won't tell anyone if you're worried he'll find out," she said straightening her back and laying her hands in her lap. Kylo grumbled. The ship jerked suddenly, exiting from hyper space. Rey could see The _Finalizer_ several kilometers from their position.

"I'm not worried, but if you don't keep your mouth shut regarding the subject then it is _you_ who should be worried," he replied scowling. Rey just smiled at him. She wouldn't tell anyone. Not only for her sake but for his. He had risked a lot for her lately despite how frustrating she had been towards him. She wouldn't tell and she hoped he knew that.

Rey turned her attention back to the window, watching The _Finalizer_ come into view. She had her lightsaber and a newfound appreciation for the man who was now her master, but that was just the beginning of her journey.

It was time for the hard part to begin.

 **TADA! Another successful chapter. So when coming up with ideas to write I asked my friends for their opinions. I gave them three ideas on what I could write about.**

 **A) Kylo was never a bad guy and was always good**

 **B) Roy had become Kylo's apprentice at the end of The Force awakens**

 **C) _SPOLIER ALERT_** **Rey took Kylo's hand at the end of The Last Jedi**

 **I don't intend on writing the other ones but I wanted to know what you all thought of the ideas. Leave a comment! Favorite! Follow! Spread the Love!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I am soooo sorry it took me so long to update. I've been recovering from illness and you all know how hard it is to focus on anything when your sick. I'm feeling much better now and I hope this chapter makes up for the delay.**

"Welcome back Ren. I take it your little excursion was successful?" Hux questioned haughtily as Kylo Ren and Rey descended down the ramp of their command shuttle. A repair crew sped past them to run through the standard maintenance check. Several feet away from the ramp stood Hux along with two storm troopers.

"Indeed. The Supreme Leader will be pleased to know that Rey has successfully constructed her own lightsaber," he said through his helmet. He had put it back on along with the cape before they touched down in the hangar. Rey watched Hux's eyes travel down to her belt where her fake lightsaber was. Kylo was wearing the satchel that had her real one inside.

"Excellent, you'll have to inform him later. I'm actually rather impressed you are back so soon."

"Would you mind elaborating for us General," said Kylo.

"Certainly. When you told me, you were taking your… _apprentice_ ," his lips curled in distaste, "to the ice planet, Ilum, to locate a material required in building her lightsaber, I had predicted it would take you both a week before your return. Clearly I underestimated."

Kylo hummed through his helmet, "In all honesty Hux you surprise me. You of all people know that Ilum was practically destroyed under the rule of Emperor Palpatine in his desire to extract the kyber crystals from the planet's core. The planet has been barren for decades, we were lucky to find one at all. I'm impressed you credited Rey enough to find one in under a week."

"Nonsense Ren," stated Hux, his bright eyes landing on Rey. He gave her a weaselly smile that made her want to gag, "I hold Miss Rey's skill set in the highest regard. She did best you on Starkiller after all." Rey felt a small prick of anger through her bond with Kylo. She was amazed it wasn't that much.

"Quite frankly Ren," Hux continued, "I'm a little taken back that you thought it would take her longer. She is after all a scavenger from a worthless trash planet. Crawling through tight spots for hours, finding small pointless trinkets is in her job description."

The small prick against the bond burst into spike of rage. Before anyone knew what was happening Hux was on the floor, crying out in pain. Kylo's hand was held out before him, his fingers curled and trembling.

"Kylo what are you doing?" Rey demanded, shocked by his actions. Kylo continued to glare down at Hux.

"The dear General was helpful enough to remind me where you came from, I thought it only appropriate to offer _him_ the same courtesy." Hux let out a strangled sound as he was pressed harder into the floor. They had gained the attention of several officers and troopers, but none made a move to stop Kylo or help their commanding officer. It left a sick feeling in Rey's stomach. Hux let out another strangled noise, struggling to breath. Rey had had enough.

She quickly stepped in front of Kylo, a whole head shorter but with more courage than anyone else in the room had, "Kylo stop! He's had enough. He isn't worth your power."

Several seconds passed before Kylo lowered his arm. Rey could hear Hux suck in a deep breath from behind her. No longer afraid of facing Kylo Ren's wrath, two troopers helped pull Hux off the ground. The man shrugged them off, coughing into his sleeve. He glared daggers at Kylo but the man was too focused on Rey.

"The Supreme Leader will be hearing about this Ren, I hope you know." Kylo didn't reply. Hux scoffed, eyeing the young woman who had technically saved him. She could see him examining her, trying to figure out what to make of her but coming up empty. His lips trembled like he intended to speak, but Rey could see what he meant through his body language, his expression, and of course his eyes. It was all she ever saw when in the presence of any member of the First Order.

 _Don't think this changes anything. You are still a worthless little girl._

Hux stormed out of the hangar, two stormtroopers following behind him. Rey watched him, her shoulders sagging in relief. Kylo strolled right past her, muttering a "Follow me," through his helmet. It took Rey a moment to register his words before she went striding after him.

"Next time something like that happens don't get involved," said Kylo when they were out of the hangar, away from prying eyes. Rey rolled her eyes.

"I don't know how often that sort of thing happens around here," Rey was honestly afraid of the answer, "but you can't just attack Hux because you don't like him."

"You think that's why I attacked him?" he questioned honestly. Rey could hear the sincerity in his voice. She glanced up at him, frustrated that she couldn't see his eyes through the helmet, "Of course. It's obvious."

"I don't attack Hux just because I can Rey. Despite what most believe I do have some restraint, but that isn't why I attacked him just now." Kylo stopped in the middle of the hall, "I attacked him because he insulted you."

Rey paused in her steps. A mouse droid ran past them in the hallway before disappearing around the corner. They were alone.

Rey sighed, rubbing her arm, "Its nothing I'm not used to."

"You shouldn't be. It was rude and uncalled for. You will be treated with respect. You are _my apprentice_ now."

"Hasn't stopped anyone yet," Rey whispered quietly so Kylo wouldn't hear her. He did. His large form went ridged. She could feel the dark energy gathering around him with each passing second.

"What?" he growled lowly. Rey had forgotten that Kylo didn't know about the things people had been saying about her in passing. She never had the courage to bring it up. The words were too painful. Too true.

"Nothing," responded Rey a bit too quickly. She could feel his eyes on her and the pressure was almost unbearable. She stared down at the floor to avoid his gaze. He placed a hand on her arm. Rey flinched at the contact but Kylo ignored her discomfort.

"What did you mean Rey? Answer me," he ordered. Rey shook her head. His grip on her arm tightened, "Tell me Rey. Don't keep these things from me."

"It doesn't matter okay," she whispered back, really wishing he would drop the subject, "It's just… they are always saying those things about me."

"Who?" he demanded. Rey said nothing. His grip tightened, causing her to cry out, "Who Rey?"

"Everyone!" she finally snapped. Kylo flinched in surprise, "Everyone says those things. Every time I leave my room I feel them judging me. In the mess hall I hear them whisper hurtful things. And I'm not only talking about since my arrival, I mean my whole life. I'm a scavenger from a washed-up planet. I'm lower than dirt. Nobody cares about me. Now can you please stop crushing my arm?"

Kylo did as she requested, unaware that he had hurt her in the first place. His guilt was soon replaced with concern, "Does what they say really bother you?" he asked genuinely, "Do you really believe them?"

"It's doesn't concern you," Rey murmured. She pulled away from him, "I may have excepted you as my master but that is not an invitation into my personal life. What I think is none of your business."

She could feel his frustration towards her through the bond, but she could also sense his concern for her. It unnerved her to feel his worry for her when he was in his mask. It reminded her that he was technically her enemy. Kylo's head glanced backwards at the sound of oncoming footsteps.

"Come with me," he ordered, striding past her down the next hallway. Rey reluctantly followed after him. They passed through several halls in silence, only occasionally running into other people. Those who spotted them could probably feel the tenseness in the air surrounding the two Force users. Kylo eventually stopped in front of a set of doors Rey didn't recognize.

"Where are we?" she questioned aloud. Kylo pulled out a key like the one Rey carried around and slipped it into the slot. It beeped in acceptance, allowing the doors to slide open. Rey's mouth dropped in astonishment.

The room before her was very spacious. The floor was covered in soft, leather padding covering all but a small corner of the space. Several pieces of exercise equipment were scattered across the room along with some benches and training supplies. Large white lights covered the walls except for the farthest that held a giant mirror.

"This is my private training room," Kylo said, walking in, Rey close behind still marveling at it, "It used to be a storage room but the Supreme Leader allowed me to convert it to a private training space."

"I would not have been able to tell," Rey whispered in awe.

"I have a reputation for destroying equipment so I prefer training alone rather than in the main gym. I like it this way. The eyes get bothersome after a time. They are always watching. Always waiting to see me snap," Rey was so entranced by the room she hadn't noticed he had kept walking. He stood in front of the large mirror, staring at his reflection. She didn't know what he could see from under that helmet of his, but he was drawn to something in his reflection, that much was sure. Hesitantly, Rey reached through the bond to feel his emotions. Unsurprisingly there was anger, a white-hot anger steadily growing within his body. Confusion was the next thing she detected coming from him. Confusion for what she didn't know. The last thing she felt resulted in Kylo abruptly shutting the bond on her. She hadn't gotten the chance to determine what it was he had been feeling but it seemed familiar to her. It couldn't be anything good.

Without warning, Kylo unclipped his lightsaber and ignited it. Seeing The crackling blade caused Rey to unconsciously step backwards. Her hands flew to her hip where her fake saber was but she did not remove it. She waited to see what Kylo would do.

"Step behind the red line," she heard him growl. She imagined if his mask was gone he would be speaking through gritted teeth. Confused by his statement she cast her eyes around the room until she spotted a red line on the floor several meters away. She did as he ordered and stepped behind the line. He pulled the satchel containing her lightsaber over his head and tossed it to her.

"Computer, begin Kylo Ren's training program, level 57." A low buzz filled the space of the room. Rey watched anxiously for something to happen.

Suddenly four small trap doors opened up on the ceiling, shooting forth a couple of black, round droids. They chirped and buzzed furiously, each one speeding towards Kylo. Each one had a blaster built into it, firing rounds only seconds apart.

Rey watched in astonishment as he effortlessly deflected each and every shot fired by the small droids. His cape flowed like water behind him when he spun to block a different droid. She could sense the growing animosity within him with each stroke against the small droids. He did this for a few minutes, deflecting the bolts with ease but still captivating Rey nonetheless.

"Computer increase difficultly, level 60," he growled. The rounds from the droids suddenly grew faster. Their shots were more focused and the time between shots grew shorter, yet Kylo was still able to keep in time and skillfully dodge and deflect every bullet fired at him. A foreboding sensation overcame Rey as each minute passed by and his fury continued to grow through their bond. She could almost hear him panting through the filter of his mask. His movements started to grow stiffer, more violent. Rey had never seen him in such a state of hatred and quite frankly it was starting to scare her.

"Kylo stop it," she tried to say over the blaster fire, but her plea fell to deaf ears. He was not listening.

He didn't want to.

"Computer, increase difficulty, level 66." Ugly alarms started blaring from the droids, bathing the room in red lights. Flashbacks onboard Han Solo's rathter freighter gripped Rey's heart like a cold fist. Several light panels folded open to reveal a small group of larger combat droids that flew over to Kylo's position.

Allowing the darkness in him to take control, Kylo swung his saber with all his might. No longer satisfied with deflecting harmless blasters, he started slicing up the smaller droids, flinging them to different corners of the room. He violently stabbed at the larger ones, cutting large chunks off their metal bodies. Rey watched helplessly off to the side as his anger consumed his mind.

"Kylo stop! Enough!" she cried out. His darkness spread through the whole room, making Rey feel sick to her stomach with how heavy and powerful it was. How could he stand to have so much of it bottled up inside him all the time? Rey fought back against the tears that wanted to appear.

"Kylo please!" He stabbed one final droid through the center, letting it fall from his lightsaber to the floor. The man panted heavily, physical and emotional exhaustion.

"Computer, turn off training program," he ordered quietly. The lights readjusted themselves and the small entrances the droids had previously appeared from sealed themselves up. Kylo turned off his lightsaber, turning to face Rey. She could still feel his frustration but it was slowly diminishing. Rey was relieved that he had been able to pull himself from his rage induced training, however as he stared at her, panting quietly, she felt her own heart tighten in anger.

"What the heck is wrong with you?" she yelled at him. He reached up and unexpectedly pulled his helmet off his head. He was sweating and his hair clung to his forehead. He pointed the hilt of his lightsaber towards Rey.

"What's wrong with _me_? What's wrong with _you_? How can you ignore all the horrible things people say about you?"

"There is nothing wrong with me," Rey stated placing a hand over her chest, 'I'm not the one who just trashed a bunch of droids for no reason."

"I had a reason!" he shot back, "I'm angry at everyone for speaking so lowly of you when you are by far more powerful and important than they are. I'm angry at you for simply rolling over and accepting it when you should be the one showing them what you are made of. I'm angry at myself for being a fool and not seeing it sooner and feeling so helpless because you don't want help for some sick reason!"

Rey bit back her retort. The feeling she had felt coming off him before his attack. That's what it had been. Helplessness. The same helplessness she had experienced everyday of her life waiting in vain for her parents to come back for her on Jakku. He hated seeing her accept the insults when he believed she was worth something, at least to him.

"What they say about me is true Kyle. I am a worthless scavenger," she tried to tell him but he just shook his head furiously.

"They don't know who you are. What you can become." He bit his lip, "Not like I do."

Rye clenched her fists. He didn't understand, "there will always be people out there who hate me. I can't stop them from talking. Its better if I just accept it. I'm a scavenger, its who I am. You on the other hand don't seem to remember that." Kilo took a threatening step forward.

"I remember, but I don't care. Those people are useless idiots unlike you and I would cut down each one of them if it meant ridding you of their words."

"Explosive anger isn't always the answer Kylo. Unlike you I don't take pleasure in harming people and things."

"It's the answer according to the dark side," he responded, "It makes me feel powerful, like nothing can touch me. It reminds me that I am strong and they are insignificant. If you embraced it Rey you too could feel that power rather then weakness when others speak of you negatively."

"I don't want it. It doesn't make me feel powerful like you, it makes me feel sick. I could never feel better about myself my allowing the darkness to take over." Kylo ran a hand through his wet hair. The sweat stuck to his gloves.

"They don't know who they insult Rey. You are worth more than everyone on this ship is. If they knew that they would not dare insult you."

"If they knew that they would fear me." Kylo's eyes widened a fraction at her statement. It was bold, she knew, but it was also the truth. Rey shook her head, "I don't want people to fear me Kylo." Rey took several small steps towards Kylo until she stood directly in front of him, looking up into his dark eyes, "I didn't choose this life like you did. I was dragged into it. I can live with people insulting me behind my back. I can't live with people cowering in fear at the mere mention of my name. I don't want that. Please, let go of your hate. You don't need it. Not right now." They held eye contact for what felt for an eternity. Kylo could get lost in her dark irises and he wouldn't want to come back. Her plea for his understanding had been a surprise he didn't know he desired. She had begged him to accept her for who she was and wanted to be. Little did she know she already had it and more. He nodded lightly, the movement barely visible. Rey visibly relaxed and Kylo struggled to hold back a smirk. She was so easy to read.

"I can't ignore what the people on this ship have said about you, but because you asked I'll let it go. For now." Rey nodded in acceptance. It was the best she was going to get out of Kylo Ren, but it was all she needed. The air around them began to feel lighter. The darkness in Kylo's heart began to diminish, allowing the compassion in Rey's to take over. Kylo sighed calmly, relishing in the feeling he was growing used to in her presence. A small smile decorated Rey's face. Neither one said anything but they didn't have to.

The balance spoke for them both.

 **Hope everyone liked the chapter. Sorry again for the long wait week will be much better. Favorite! Comment! Follow! Spread the Love!**


	10. Chapter 10

Rey was awoken by the insistent chiming of her front door. She growled, shoving her face further into her pillow. She was used to waking up in the wee hours of the morning back on Jakku to get an early start at scavenging old ships, however that didn't mean Rey hated waking up early any less.

And _being_ woken up was something she hated even more.

"Go away," Rey slurred. She was positive it was some droid there to pick up her laundry or something. It would just come back later if she didn't answer. The buzzing continued for another minute before Rey's patience had finally been decimated. She heaved herself from the comforts of her bed. Wiping away a bit of drool that had accumulated on the side of her mouth, Rey dragged her feet to the front door of her quarters. As she approached her front door, she prepared herself to berate the droid who felt the need to disturb her so early in the morning.

The words died in her mouth when the door opened to reveal Zarde.

Rey's weariness vanished, replaced with embarrassment for being caught in her pajamas and probably looking like a dead animal, "Z-Zarde, what are you doing here? And so early?"

The woman smiled, thankfully dismissing Rey's unkept state, "I was sent by Lord Ren to awaken you. He would like you to meet him in his private training room."

Rey blinked, "He woke you up and sent you here just to tell me that?"

"I was already awake Miss. My duties start long before yours," she replied happily, though Rey didn't see what there was to be smiling about. "Why does he need me?" she questioned. Zarde gave her a confused look.

"Your training begins today Miss. I thought you knew that."

Rey didn't know that, but she probably could have figured it out on her own. Her and Kylo had returned from their mission on Ilum just the day before. After the events that transpired in Kylo's training room he had dismissed Rey to do whatever she wished for the remainder of the day. It made sense that he would start her training after she reintegrated on the ship, not that she spent time trying to. She didn't like it there after all.

"Oh of course," said Rey, "that makes perfect sense."

"Would you like me to help you pull together a training outfit?" Zarde asked. Rey nodded, stepping aside to let Zarde enter. The woman had left several new items of clothing for her while she had been away and wasn't sure what to do with it all. For years she had had only one article of clothing and she was overwhelmed with her new selections.

That and it was nice to have Zarde around. The woman was kind and didn't behave like other First Order members, holding herself in high regard and looking down on others. It was refreshing for Rey to have someone like her around.

"How has it been since you returned from your trip?" the dark-haired woman asked as she walked into Rey's room, "I've heard Ilum is a cold, unforgiving planet. It must be nice to be back."

Rey hesitated, not sure if she should tell Zarde about the welcome she received from Hux or her conversation with Kylo. She didn't really need to know all that stuff, "It's nice to be warm again. That's about all I can say on that matter."

Zarde nodded in understanding, "True. It isn't exactly the most welcoming location in the galaxy but The _Finalizer_ is a good ship, even if its occupants aren't."

"You're right," Rey agreed. Zarde pulled out several pieces of clothing and laid them out neatly on the bed, "However," the woman started, "I have found that not everyone here is quiet so intolerable."

Rey detected a hint of implication in the woman's tone and smiled, recalling her and Zarde's first meeting, "Yes, I would say having you around is like a breath of fresh air Zarde." Rey sat down on the edge of the bed just as Zarde turned around to face her, a suggestive smile on her face that Rey found unsettling.

"I wasn't referring to myself Miss," she stated, surprising Rey, "I was referring to Lord Ren."

Rey almost fell from her perch on the bed. She never thought those words could come out of someone's mouth, especially someone as kind and sweet as Zarde, "You think Kylo Ren is a decent, tolerable person? Why in your right mind would you think that?"

"You don't?"

Rey's mouth dropped in shock. She wanted to say yes, however she couldn't force the words out into the open, "It's not important what I think, why do you think he's tolerable? From what I have heard he's a violent individual with no respect for the order." The dark-haired woman sighed, running a hand over the clothes she had put out, "Put this on. I'll tell you while you get dressed," she replied, gesturing to the set of clothes before her and then turning around to face the wall. Rey hesitated before doing as the woman instructed, pulling off her night dress and working to put on the exercise clothes. While all this was happening Zarde explained herself.

"I've considered myself Lord Ren's personal servant for years Miss. Mostly because I'm the only person who isn't scared of him. I've seen the man that the First Order fears and I am not afraid. I'd be lying if I said he wasn't without his faults, but who is? But I've seen the passionate, misunderstood man under that mask of his. I know you have too."

Rey froze as she was pulling on her training shirt, "I don't know what you mean."

Zarde laughed lightly, "I've noticed a change in him since he met you. He's more at peace with himself. When he speaks of you there is a calmness in his voice and when he speaks of the past, when he interrogated you or your duel on Starkiller, its not with contempt but with an awe and admiration I've never seen in him before." Zarde paused and spun around to face Rey. She wore a black tank top with dark grey trousers and a belt for her lightsaber. She had pulled her hair into her traditional three buns.

Rey was at a loss of words. She had no idea she had caused such a change in Kylo. She didn't think it was possible, but as she considered their past interactions she found she already knew it to be true. A light blush decorated her cheeks and Zarde smiled in amusement.

"He really isn't all that bad Miss." Reluctantly Rey nodded, "He still has a bit of a temper though," she stated, hoping to ease the embarrassment of her situation. Zarde laughed, nodding her head in agreement.

"I doubt that will ever change. Now hurry to the training room. He's been looking forward to this and I doubt he'll go easy on you." Rey's discomfort dissipated, replaced with determination. She nodded, grabbing the satchel with her real saber in it along with her fake one. She cast Zarde one last glance before leaving.

"Thank you Zarde. This conversation has been… insightful." Rey grinned and rushed out the door to the training room. She didn't notice Zarde shaking her head knowingly, bringing a hand up to her mouth to suppress her giggles.

"This will be interesting."

* * *

Rey skidded to a halt in front of the training room. She fumbled to pull out her key. The day before Kylo had programmed the key to give her access to the training room so only he and she could enter it. A small bloom of excitement welled inside Rey at the idea that she was the only other person allowed inside the training room. She quickly placed the key into the slot and it chirped happily, allowing her entry.

The first thing she noticed was Kylo wasn't wearing his helmet, or his normal uniform for that matter. He wore black pants and boots like always however his tunic was gone, traded for a black tank top like hers. Her eyes were drawn to his bare arms, large and covered in scars from previous battles.

He was practicing fighting forms with a black stick in place of his saber. He was so focused on practicing against his dummy he had not noticed her enter. Rey watched him wordlessly, marveling at his skill. She didn't want to admit it back then but she was captivated by his fighting style on Starkiller. The way he moved was so graceful yet powerful. It was as if watching someone dancing.

Kylo finally noticed her presence and turned to face her. Sweat had gathered on his forehead causing his skin to shine. He stared at Rey, looking her up and down. Rey suddenly felt self-conscious and wondered if she should have worn something else. Kylo didn't comment on her attire, instead strolling over to a bench near him, placing his rod against it and picking up a water bottle.

"How long have you been standing there?" he questioned, taking a sip from his bottle.

"Not long, only a minute or two," she answered truthfully. Kylo nodded, placing the bottle back on the bench. He walked over to a rack that held several rods like the one he had practiced with. Grabbing one, he tossed it over to Rey with no warning. She caught it, though almost dropped it in surprise. She eyed it curiously.

"If you are going to fight with a lightsaber, you need to practice with something safer, so we don't repeat an incident like this one," he said, pointing to the scar on his face, "Skywalker learned with a real lightsaber as did I, but I figured you might prefer a rod first to get familiar with the feel. You spent your life on Jakku fighting with a staff correct?" She nodded once, allowing him to continue, "then you already understand the basics of combat, however a lightsaber is pretty different from a staff."

"I think I can manage," Rey said, recalling her fight with Kylo on Starkiller. He must have been thinking the same thing because he pointed accusingly at her.

"You got lucky back then. I had no intention of really harming you, plus I was already injured. You still need the proper training if you are going to handle a lightsaber properly." Rey didn't say it aloud but she did agree. Fighting with a lightsaber was different from fighting with a staff. She would have to start simple or she could end up hurting herself or someone else. In response to his comment, Rey tightened her grip on her rod, holding in front of herself in a defensive position. Kylo saw this and smirked, holding out his own rod.

"I'll tell you this now, I have no intention of holding back." Rey offered him a smirk of her own.

"Good. I'd be disappointed if you did." Without another word, she charged.

Kylo easily blocked her attack, which he countered with one of his own. Rey dodged and quickly hit her rod against his in return. Several blows like this were exchanged between them. Rey could feel her body beginning to tire. She was unused to this new fighting style but refused to be beaten by him without a fight.

Kylo threw another swing, their rods clanking loudly. He was using this match as a chance to study her technique and determine what needed improvement. He was rather impressed with how well she was doing considering she had only fought with a lightsaber once in her life. It excited him to think that pretty soon she would be fighting with one she had created on her own.

Also, that she would be fighting with techniques _he_ taught her.

Rey brought her saber down on his, trying to force him into the defensive. He easily slid his rod from underneath and aimed for her side. She just barely blocked him before his rod collided with her torso. They parried back and forth, all the while Kylo pushed her farther back.

The back of Rey's legs bumped against a bench and she realized he was cornering her. Rey growled, refusing to let him corner her like a loth-cat being hunted. To Kylo's surprise she jumped onto the bench and started blocking his attacks. Kylo followed her actions, leaping onto the bench. The change made it more difficult for them to keep their balance. They continued to swing at each other, their rods clanking with each contact.

Too lost in the duel, Rey didn't consider that she was at the edge of the bench until she miss-stepped, causing her foot to slip. Before she knew what was happening she was falling off the side of the bench. Out of impulse, Kylo reached out his hand to grab her but was pulled down as well. Both individuals cried out as they toppled to the padded floor of the training room. After the initial shock and the pain from hitting the ground, Rey noticed the compromising position they were in.

Rey was completely sprawled out on the floor with Kylo kneeling over her. Her legs sat in between his. His large hands were placed just beside her head.

He looked down at her, just as surprised by the sudden turn of events. They stared at each other for what felt like hours, neither quite sure what to do. Rey took in every inch of his sweaty, shocked expression. Her eyes softened.

"You know," she said quietly, "I like it better when you don't wear the helmet."

Her comment was an innocent one but it shook Kylo to the very core. He hastily got off of Rey, pulling himself to his feet.

"That was rather impressive," he said, referring to the match. Rey was somewhat disappointed that he hadn't replied to her statement regarding his mask, but nodded in thanks. He held out a hand which she took nervously.

"You have very wide swings," she said, dusting imaginary dirt from her pants.

"As do you," he responded, "You could stand to do better at paying attention to your surroundings."

"Well, when you're on a planet that's covered in sand there isn't much change in terrain," she admitted, shrugging. Kylo's lips quirked upward just barely in amusement and Rey laughed.

"Your technique needs work. You take to swinging at random when you start losing control of the situation. You need to control yourself and keep an open mind. One misstep could be the difference between life and death," said Kyle. Rey threw her arms out to her sides.

"Good thing you're here to teach me then, right?" Kylo watched her for several moments, a look of reverence on his face that made Rey blush. A smile, a real smile, spread across his face.

"Right." Kylo grabbed his rod off the floor, holding it out in front of him. Rey followed his actions, positioning her rod before her.

"Shall we begin, my _apprentice_?" he questioned. Rey smirked, her grip tightening on the handle.

"I'm ready when you are, Master."

 **This chapter was shorter than the last few. Sorry about that, but not every chapter can be 3000 words otherwise I'd be writing all day. I'm not very good at writing fight scenes, sorry. I hope you all liked the chapter! Review! Favorite! Follow! Spread the love! If you haven't yet check out my other story "Their Secret Haven".**


	11. Chapter 11

**Just so there is no confusion, this chapter takes place maybe a week after the last one.**

A cup of tea clattered to the polished floor of Rey's personal quarters.

"They want me to what?" Rey exclaimed.

"They want you and Lord Ren to lead a squadron to Florrum to handle a criminal uprising. Isn't that exciting?" Zarde asked, cleaning up the cup of tea Rey had dropped upon hearing the news.

She had been coming by at the end of her shifts with tea everyday for the past several days. It had become a sort of ritual between the two of them, one Rey enjoyed greatly. There was very little for her to do on The _Finalizer_ other than train with Kylo. Zarde's visits were nice distractions.

The news she had just shared with Rey however she was very much unprepared for.

"Exciting? No, absolutely not. How is that exciting?" Rey questioned. Zarde shrugged.

"Well, it's your first mission as Lord Ren's apprentice. You're being given the chance to show off your training on the field." Rey stood up from her couch and started pacing.

"No no no no! This is not good. I can't go out there."

"Why not Miss Rey?" Zarde asked innocently, "You've been prattling on for the last week about how bored you've been. I thought you would be pleased to finally get off this ship and do something." Rey bit her lip guiltily. It never occurred to her how often she complained to Zarde about how much she hated the ship. It had to be annoying to hear her repetitive, but true, complaints.

"I'm not anxious about leaving the ship, the thought is refreshing. It's the idea that I'm leaving on a mission that doesn't sit well with me." Zarde put Rey's cup back on the coffee table while also grabbing her own. Her eyes trained on the girl before her, "Tell me why."

Rey sighed, running a hand across her forehead, "I don't know if anyone told you this, but I didn't exactly _join_ the First Order willingly."

"Few people do."

"But I mean, I was actually captured and basically forced to side with them or Snoke would have killed me," said Rey, waiting to see Zarde's reaction. Whatever the woman was thinking Rey could not tell. She patiently waited for Rey to continue explaining.

"The point I suppose I'm trying to make is, they expect me to fight for them. To hurt and possibly kill people in the name of the First Order, but I don't want to. That's why I don't want to go on this mission. So, what can I do?" Rey watched as Zarde processed everything she had told her. The woman took a tiny sip of her tea, an action that for some reason made Rey more anxious. When she was done she placed it on the coffee table and put her hands on her lap.

"The way I see it, you don't have much of a choice Rey. You have to complete this mission." Rey was about to protest again when Zarde held up a hand, silencing her once more, "You were given a unique opportunity. After what transpired on Starkiller you are lucky that you are still alive, and that is all because of Lord Ren."

"He saved you from what would have been certain death had you not agreed to become his apprentice, and he has been protecting you since then. What you need to understand Miss Rey is that not only does this mission reflect off of you but off of Lord Ren as well. If you can't prove your loyalty to the order then he will also be punished."

Rey froze in her pacing. The thought had never crossed Rey's mind. By asking Snoke to train her, Kylo was putting his own life on the line and if she failed to meet Snoke's expectations Kylo would suffer his wrath with her. That didn't sit well with Rey. From the beginning he had treated her with respect and care which continued on into her training. Whether she wanted to admit it, she also cared for him, at least a little bit.

"What can I do then?" Rey asked softly. She still didn't want to fight for the First Order, but she had her own life to worry about along with Kylo's. Zarde shrugged sadly.

"I don't know. But I do know that life is precious. You are alive Miss Rey and you can't waste the opportunity that was given to you. I know many people would hate the thought of you dying at the hands of the Supreme Leader. Myself included."

Rey's thoughts drifted to Finn and BB-8. She had no idea where they were or if they were alive, but they were the only friends she still had. What would happen if they found out she was working for the First Order? Would it hurt more than the idea that Snoke would kill her if she didn't complete the mission?

The stress of the situation was too much for Rey to bare. She sat back down on the couch, clutching her head, hopelessly trying to find a way out of her predicament. Zarde stood up and walked over to the couch Rey was sitting on. She seated herself beside the girl and placed a comforting hand on her back. As she rubbed soothing circles against Rey's back, she feared for the young woman before her. She had never asked to be a part of this war and now she was at the front of it. Zarde could only hope that Rey would find some way to escape it.

Until then however, Rey would have to keep living, no matter what it took.

* * *

The walk to the command shuttle was a solemn one for Rey. She had been praying that there had been a mix up and she wouldn't have to go on the mission, however just as Zarde said, an hour later she was called to the hangar bay to a command shuttle on route to Florrum.

Attached to her hip was her fake saber. She figured that if she was going to fight in front of stormtroopers it would be the safest one to take.

As she approached the shuttle she would be travelling in she saw Kylo Ren waiting for her. He was wearing his helmet and cape, like he always did in the presence of others. She wondered what she would have to do to convince him not to wear it so much.

He had been speaking to a lieutenant before he noticed her approach. She felt him probing her through the bond, trying to discern how she was feeling in that moment. Rey was positive he could feel the dread and despair tumbling off her like tidal waves. He didn't acknowledge her, instead returning his attention to the lieutenant speaking to him. Rey understood and continued marching towards him.

"He's very insistent that you report any progress to the Supreme Leader," she heard the young lieutenant say as she drew closer.

"Unfortunately, there is no news to report. The _Ravenous_ has yet to locate the target so if Hux wants something to report he can pull his own weight for once and put something together himself," Kylo growled lowly, "Understood?"

The fearful lieutenant nodded before running off to report to General Hux. Rey approached Kylo, a hand on her hip.

"What was all that about?" she asked. She noticed Kylo stiffen and found it rather odd. He wouldn't have reacted that way unless he had something to hide. Rey's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Something regarding my secret mission. Back when you were first brought aboard The _Finalizer_. Hux is just being a nuisance regarding my lack of results."

"Hux excels at being a nuisance," Rey said, smirking. A low chuckle came from behind Kylo's helmet. She wished she could see him smiling underneath.

 _You really need to stop thinking like that_ , she thought.

"Come, our shuttle is ready," Kylo said, his cape flowing behind him as he marched up the ramp, Rey close behind.

"Do you know the details regarding this mission?" he asked as the ramp closed up. The familiar jerking of the ship didn't faze Rey as the shuttle pulled out of the hangar bay, "Yes," she said softly. Kylo paused in front of the door to the cockpit. Rey bit her lip.

"You know how I feel about this right?" she asked nervously.

"Yes," he answered shortly. He spun around to face her. She stared up at him, unsure of what he would say. No doubt he would be frustrated with her, but Rey knew in her heart that if she hurt innocent people in the name of the First Order she would regret it for the rest of her life. She still did not know though how she would avoid it without resulting in her and Kylo being punished.

Without warning, Kylo rested a gloved hand on Rey's shoulder. She stared down at it in surprise, suddenly feeling small under his grasp.

"You can't avoid this Rey," he spoke calmly towards her.

"I can try."

"No, you can't. Snoke will find out one way or another. You'll be killed if you don't do this." Hesitantly, Rey pulled her eyes away from his hand back to where his eyes were. She tried to imagine what his eyes held as he stared down at her, worried and unsure of what her future would be.

"But I'll die a little anyway if I do it."

The door to the cockpit flew open and Kylo spun around to see who was there, his hand dropping from Rey's shoulder. A trooper stood at the door, hands holding a blaster.

"Sir, we'll be dropping out of hyperspace at our desired destination in five minutes. The pilot wishes for you to instigate landing procedures."

"Very well," Kylo said, though Rey could tell he was displeased for being interrupted from their conversation. The trooper marched back into the cockpit with Kylo Ren following close behind. He offered Rey one final glance before the door shut behind him. Rey sucked in a breath to steady herself.

There was no turning back now.

* * *

The fighting had already started by the time the shuttle landed. Rey watched as blaster fire shot from every direction. It reminded her of the scene at Maz's cantina on Takodana, a memory she did not want to remember.

The ship landed in a relatively safe location. Only a handful of troopers had been on their ship and they quickly filed out to join the fighting. Kylo and Rey were the last ones off the ship.

Rey flinched every time an explosion happened too close for comfort. Kylo however was not phased in the slightest. It disturbed her that he could walk through a battle field and still keep his composure. A trooper ran up to the two of them in the middle of the fray.

"What's our status?" Kylo questioned him.

"We have a large group of ruffians holed up on the south side of the structure," he said, gesturing behind him to a large building, "There's a small number of them aiming for our shield generators on the west side though. About twenty to twenty-five men."

"How many do we have on the west side.?"

"Not enough. They have an armored assault tank from back during the Clone Wars."

"Those have been out of commission for years," Kylo grumbled.

"Well they have one sir, and we can't push past it. Not with the troopers we have." Kylo cursed in annoyance then his sight drifted down to Rey. Her and the trooper watched him contemplate the situation, all while staring down at the brown-haired woman. Rey could tell he was thinking of something she would not like.

He quickly turned back to the trooper, "Take her to the westward side of the building," he said pointing to Rey.

"What?!"

"I'll go to the south side and handle the problem there."

"Wait," in a brash decision, Rey grabbed hold of Kylo's arm. The trooper froze in fear, having never seen anyone lay a hand on Kylo Ren.

"I can't do it," Rey said, desperately trying to make him understand.

"You can take out the tank," he told her, "Once it's gone the stormtroopers should have no problems breaking through the rest of their defenses."

"Kylo please don't make me-," he placed a hand on her shoulder just like the time before on the command shuttle. Rey's world stilled, her sole focus on the man before her.

"Rey, you can do it. If you won't fight then you must protect. Protect the soldiers under you. I know you will succeed. This I am certain of." Rey felt slightly better after hearing his words of confidence, however she was still apprehensive. She had never fought anything as big as a tank before. She didn't think she possessed the power.

Through their bond Kylo sent feelings of peace and assurance that calmed Rey's troubled heart. She gave him a grateful smile.

"Alright," she whispered so only he could hear, "I'll try."

"Good," he nodded, pulling out his lightsaber, "May the Force be with you." Without another word the man in black charged into the fray, quickly disappearing into the battlefield.

"Come with me Miss," the trooper called to Rey, running in the direction she was most needed. Rey followed, finding it difficult to stay focused on him rather than the battle around her. She hated war. It had ruined her childhood and it continued to ruin the rest of her life. She dreamed of the day when all the fighting would come to an end. When the galaxy would finally find the balance that it needed.

The trooper led her through the safest routes towards the westward side of the compound. The number of bodies she spotted on both sides were enough to make her feel nauseous.

A large boom echoed through the battle field and Rey knew she was close to her destination. As she thought that a large tank came into view. She had never seen a model like the one shooting at the stormtroopers. It looked pretty old and she was impressed it was still in working condition. Her inner scavenger desired to tear it apart from the inside to see what made it tick. A sizable number of troopers were stationed by a set of shield generators that were their only line of defense against the assault tank. The soldier who had led her there quickly pulled her behind them where they were safe from the tanks cannon fire.

"What did I miss?" the trooper asked. Two other soldiers glanced over at him before continuing to fire at the enemy.

"Not much GZ, as you might be able to tell," said a rather feminine voice from under a stormtrooper helmet, "We can't push past this tank and we used up all our grenades."

"Casualties?" the trooper Rey knew only by the letters GZ said.

"10 wounded and 5 dead," stated the other trooper. He glanced over his shoulder, suddenly aware of Rey's presence, "Who the heck is she?"

"She's Kylo Ren's new apprentice," GZ said. The female stormtrooper looked at Rey.

"I've heard about her. Is it true you gave him that scar?"

"Why are you choosing now to gossip?" exclaimed the other soldier, "We are in the middle of a battle JR-1998."

"Sorry, I'm curious. Don't tell me you haven't heard all the rumors too IB-2002."

"I don't care," cried the trooper known as IB-2002, "I just want to make it out of this fight alive, now GZ-2000, can you please tell us why is she here?"

Rey's attention fell on the trooper who had brought her there. He scratched the back of his head, ignoring the fact that he was wearing a helmet, "To be perfectly honest I have no idea. I think she's here to take out the cannon."

"Can she use the Force? Does she have a lightsaber like Lord Ren?" questioned JR. Rey's eyes drifted to her belt. She quickly pulled out her fake saber and flicked it to life. The three troopers with her fell backwards in surprise, half expecting nothing to happen.

"I guess she does," muttered IB. IB and JR stopped shooting, turning fully to face Rey, "What is are your orders then Miss?"

This surprised Rey. She didn't expect to be in command of the small group of soldiers, "Oh, um, well I don't know. This is my first mission actually."

IB facepalmed the front of his helmet, "Perfect." JR jabbed him with her elbow. Rey didn't blame them for their behavior. Honestly, she was surprised they were behaving so casual. It reminded her that under their white uniforms and helmets were living human beings.

Human beings who were going to die if that tank wasn't destroyed.

Rey inched closer to the generator that was shielding her and the troops, allowing herself a better look at the tank. It had moved forward several feet since she had arrived which wasn't good. She estimated it would take another two or three minutes before it crossed the barrier and destroyed the shield generator along with her and the soldiers.

"How much time would you say is in between each round?" she asked aloud. The troopers were surprised by her sudden question.

"I'd say maybe less than a minute.," answered JR.

"If I had to make a specific guess I would say between thirty seconds and forty-five seconds," added IB. Rey smiled. That was more than enough time for her to sprint out to the tank and disable it. She turned to the troopers behind her.

"I can destroy it, however there is a problem. I can't run out there until it's at least a foot away from the shield."

"A foot?" cried IB, "By the time you get there they'll have destroyed the generators."

"I can make it in the allotted time between each shot. What I need is for you all to draw their individual fire away from me so I have a better chance of getting there faster. I can take care of the tank but I need you to keep the blaster fire off of me. Can you all do that?"

The three troopers looked at each other as if silently communicating with a language Rey didn't comprehend. She thought back to all the times in the mess hall when people whispered about her when they thought she couldn't hear. Rey prayed they would have enough confidence in her to trust her plan.

"If I take left position I should be able to draw more fire away," said GZ, "If you two take right position then we can make a clear path for her to reach the tank. Does that sound reasonable?"

"Reasonable, yes. Stupid, absolutely," replied IB, charging his blaster, "What are we waiting for?"

Rey smiled, grateful that they were giving her a chance. JR-1998 and IB-2002 crouched down and sped off toward their positions. They had several other troopers follow after them to aid in the plan. GZ-2000 took another handful of troopers to the left so Rey would have no distractions.

The blaster fire started up again, each group of troopers pulling the enemies attention away from the path Rey would take to the tank. She sat in the dirt watching the tank move into position. She would have a very small window of opportunity but she would not fail. She couldn't.

Her life was on the line. Kylo's life was on the line.

The cannon shot another round that was deflected off the shield. The second the tank was in position Rey bolted toward it, lightsaber in front of her. Despite the trooper's best efforts, a couple enemy fighters noticed her charging and prepared to shoot her. Rey held up her lightsaber defensively, recalling her training with Kylo.

It was time to put it to the test.

Shots fired at her in the blink of an eye. She flicked the lightsaber with her wrist effortlessly, blocking each hit and reflecting it back at her attackers. Several hit the tank but caused no real damage. She sped across the field towards the tank. In her head she counted the second to make sure she had enough time.

Rey reached the tank just before the countdown ended. She was so close she could hear the humming of the tank as it prepared to fire its last shot which would surely destroy the generators. She jumped onto the hood of the tank, flinging herself high in the air. With one long strike she sliced the cannon. She jumped away just before the tank exploded violently, flinging chunks of metal in every direction.

Rey landed roughly onto the dirt floor, scraping her skin in several places. She ignored the pain, trying to see if she had succeeded in finishing the assault tank. She could hear cheering off to the side as several troopers started running after the fleeing criminals. A couple came running up to her, pulling her off the ground.

"That was amazing!" cried the familiar voice of JR-1998, "You totally obliterated it!"

"That was impressive," IB admitted begrudgingly. Rey clutched her head, still trying to regain her focus after that explosion, but smiled nonetheless.

What happened afterwards was mostly a blur to Rey. She remembered the troops continuing their advance on the compound after the tank had been taken care of. IB and GZ had led the rest to take control of the stronghold while JR stayed behind long enough to take care of Rey's small injuries. They soon followed after, JR shooting at any stray enemies while Rey simply deflected their shots. She still felt uncomfortable at the prospect of killing someone.

When they reached the courtyard, they found it under the First Order's complete control. Rey watched the soldiers lead the uprisers away, probably to be imprisoned. Most of the soldiers were caring for any wounded.

In the center of the courtyard stood Kylo Ren, overseeing everything like the leader he was.

Rey's heart beat faster. She wondered if anyone had told him of her success at destroying the tank, though she figured he already knew considering their obvious victory. JR ran off to find her other comrades, leaving Rey to limp towards Kylo.

When he finally noticed her, it felt as if the world had frozen around them. Everything else had disappeared, leaving the two of them. Rey offered Kylo a small smile. She hoped he could tell how thankful she was that he believed in her even when she didn't. For the first time since they met she wished he knew what she was thinking.

Without a second to reconsider, Rey opened her mind up to him. She could see his body tense at the sudden realization that she was giving him permission to read her thoughts. He hesitated only for a moment before diving in. She could feel him roving over her mind. It wasn't painful or uncomfortable like it was on Starkiller. It was warm and welcoming. As he went through her mind, Rey allowed the most important thought, the one she opened her mind up for him to see, come to the surface.

 _Thank you. I couldn't have done it without you._

To her surprise, he responded.

 _You're welcome. You never needed me._

As the words sunk in, a comforting feeling overtook Rey's body. She knew it was coming from him and it almost scared her how great it felt. It was so soothing and peaceful that Rey had to bite back tears from falling. Despite the helmet obstructing her view of his face, Rey knew he was smiling.

She knew he was proud of her.

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	12. Chapter 12

**Don't forget to checkout my other story, "Their Secret Haven." Enjoy!**

"Lady Rey."

"Lieutenant," Rey responded, nodding to the two officers who had passed her in the hallway. They both nodded in kind before continuing to their destination. Rey chuckled. If someone had told her she would serve the First Order and hold the respect of countless millions she would have fallen on Jakku's sand covered floor and rolled around like a crazy person.

Upon completing her mission on Florrum, word spread quickly through the ship of Rey's leadership and her destructive power when it came to destroying the enemies assault tank. Several were afraid, thinking her to be another Kylo Ren. Most had begun to respect her title as his apprentice however and stopped speaking of her as nothing but a lowly scavenger.

Unfortunately, not everyone had been swayed by her abilities and still murmured hurtful things about her, but less than they did in the past. It was just enough to satisfy Rey. It was great to be able to eat in the mess hall without hearing people whisper things about her.

The mess hall was where she had been heading. She had completed a rather exhausting training session with Kylo and was given a break to go eat. She had invited him to accompany her but he politely declined.

Obviously, she was not the only one who hated the whispers.

She was slightly bummed that he had not agreed to join her. Despite how the murmuring had decreased, people were still intimidated by her and never invited her to sit with them. She had tried taking the first step but no one ever spoke to her or if they did it sounded rehearsed or robotic like they thought she would dislike it if they didn't behave professionally in her presence. So poor Rey often sat alone anyway. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to.

She entered the mess hall and hopped in line. Nobody stared at her like they used to which was refreshing. The service droid filled up her tray and she walked towards her own private corner.

"Rey!"

Rey froze, swearing she had heard her name. She glanced around the room and was surprised to see a young woman standing up, waving in her direction. Rey had been going to the mess hall for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for several weeks now and had never once seen her. The woman had short, red hair, brushed over hazel eyes and a bright, wide smile. Beside her were two men. A dark-skinned fellow with a blonde buzzcut and a man with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. They did nothing to stop their female companion from making an embarrassment of herself in public. Rey quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

Hesitantly she made her way towards their table. Several eyes watched her approach but said nothing. When she finally reached the table, the red-haired woman dropped her arm.

"Isn't this a nice surprise! I didn't think we would find you here Lady Rey. Isn't this great, guys?" the woman exclaimed. Rey smiled nervously.

"I'm so sorry, but who are you again?" she asked. The woman's smile dropped in an almost comical fashion. The dark-skinned man snickered off to the side.

"You don't recognize us?"

"There are hundreds of stormtroopers on this ship J, you really think she's going to remember three specifically?" questioned the blonde. The redhead pouted.

"Well I hoped she would recognize our voices, just a little bit."

Rey watched the three of them interact and the pieces started pulling together. As she recalled who was sitting in front of her, a large grin decorated her face.

"Your face is starting to creep me out," said the dark-skinned man, taking a bite out of a fruit she didn't recognize.

"I know who you are now. You were the stormtroopers from Florrum." The redhead's frown quickly morphed into a smile and she clapped her hands excitedly, "You got it! See GZ, she did remember us." The dirty blonde shrugged, not bothered in the least that he was wrong. Rey placed her tray down on the table, excitement bubbling inside her at the thought of having new friends.

"I've never seen you in here before."

"We usually wait till lunch is almost over before showing up," answered the dirty blonde, "There are fewer people here which means more leftovers for us to enjoy."

Rey laughed, "Honestly I think the food is rather tasteless, and I've spent my whole life eating rations on Jakku."

The redhaired woman shrugged, "It starts to grow on you."

"Maybe the First Order isn't the only thing the higher ups brainwashed us to like," the dark-skinned man muttered. The other two laughed, and Rey watched, not sure if it was appropriate for her to laugh at something they personally experienced. Something clicked in her mind and she quickly sat up.

"Remind me your names again."

"I'm JR-1998," said the girl, sliding into her seat. She gestured to the dark-skinned man, "This is IB-2002, and that one," she pointed across the table dramatically at the dirty blonde, "is GZ-2000. It sounds difficult to remember, but trust me it really isn't." Rey's eyebrows knit together.

"Do you not have real names?" They eyed each other uncomfortably. IB simply scowled.

"No," he remarked bluntly.

"Phasma has a name."

"Phasma wasn't taken from her family at birth and trained to be an expendable soldier," muttered GZ. The other troopers nodded their heads in solemn agreement. Rey frowned.

"Can I come up with names for you?"

"You really shouldn't Lady Rey," said JR, her peppy attitude suddenly fading, "You'll get in trouble."

There were several things Rey disliked about the way the First Order operated. Kidnapping children and training them to be brainless monsters was in the top three. She understood now why Finn wanted to escape it all.

An image of Finn flashed across her mind. She wondered if they had known him personally. They seemed like the kind of people he would try to associate with. Rey leaned against her elbows on the table.

"Do you know who Finn is?"

"Who?" asked GZ. The other two quirked their eyebrows in confusion. Rey mentally facepalmed, realizing her mistake.

"He's a stormtrooper, or he was. I believe his designation was FN-21-,"

"FN-2187?" GZ finished, eyes growing wide. His two companions had similar expressions.

"Did you know him?" Rey asked curiously. JR shook her head.

"Not personally, but everyone has heard of him. He was the only stormtrooper to ever defect from the order."

"A lot of people want him dead for the stunt he pulled," GZ chimed in, glancing over his shoulder nervously, "He's been marked a traitor against the order and the higher ups are worried others will follow after his example. We aren't really supposed to be talking about it."

"Then maybe you should zip your mouth shut before someone hears you," IB growled quietly, not keen on the idea of being hauled away for his friend's antics. Rey pondered on what they had told her and examined the three stormtroopers carefully.

"Do you want to? Defect, I mean. Would you do it?" The three troopers eyed each other nervously. Rey could sense the conflict in them and it made her anxious. To turn the stormtroopers against the First Order would be a large step towards freeing the galaxy. There had to be more out there just like the three sitting in front of her, struggling inside against their morality and their duty. If she could convince them-

"We really shouldn't talk about this stuff Lady Rey," said JR, "We'd get in a lot of trouble. Especially you."

Rey didn't want to just brush the subject away, but she knew they were correct in being fearful. As enticing as the thought of escape was there were a lot of risks, risks they weren't ready to take. Trying to hide her disappointment, Rey nodded.

The crew soon changed the subject, diving into random topics just for the sake of their enjoyment. Rey couldn't remember the last time she had smiled so hard. She hated the First Order and what it stood for, but every once in a while, she needed that reminder that it was made up of people, good people, who despite not making the best choices were still decent human beings. Sufficed to say, Rey thoroughly enjoyed her time with the three stormtroopers.

When her break was over and it was time for her to return to Ren's private training room, Rey waved goodbye to her new comrades, agreeing to meet them for lunch the following day. Rey never thought she would be excited for lunch onboard The _Finalizer_ , but it seemed like her perspective on things was constantly changing.

She had assumed Zarde would be a stuck-up snob yet she was a kind confidant. She thought the stormtroopers would be mindless killers but instead they were unique individuals.

She thought Kylo Ren was a creature in a mask, however he was far from that. He was a compassionate man. Her master.

Her friend.

Rey felt a pool of warmth in her stomach at the thought of Kylo. No longer did she see him simply as a one-dimensional villain she had to vanquish. He was so much more than that. He had taught her a lot about people and it made her understand the galaxy on a different level. Had she not given him a chance she never would have known.

As she approached the training room she reached out to sense his feelings. She grew concerned when she felt apprehension and frustration coming off of him. She slipped her key into the slot and the doors slid open to reveal Kylo Ren standing on the far side of the room, a data pad in hand. His eyebrows were furrowed together.

"Kylo?" Rey asked, "Are you okay?"

His gaze shot up to meet hers and she saw his grip tighten on the data pad out of the corner of her eye.

"They're coming here."

"Who?" Rey asked, though she knew she wouldn't like the answer.

"The Knights of Ren. They are coming here tonight."

* * *

"I don't feel comfortable wearing this."

"Lord Ren requested something formal."

"I feel like I'm trapped in a tent," complained Rey, shifting her legs around in the skirt of her dress. Zarde laughed, combing Rey's hair gently.

"You get used to it Miss." Zarde put the comb down and started wrapping Rey's hair into an intricate bun. Rey couldn't see what she was doing but knew it would look fantastic when completed.

The Knights were scheduled to arrive in less than twenty minutes and in honor of their last mission, which involved handling an insurrection in the Outer Rim, Kylo had put together a dinner for them which Rey and himself would attend despite Rey's fervent protests.

"You'll have to be introduced to them sooner or later. Might as well be sooner," he had told her at the time, but it did little to ease her nerves. She had no idea what to expect out of the Knights of Ren. Were they bloodthirsty warriors or just men under masks like Kylo? She wouldn't know until she met them herself.

"Have you ever met the Knights?" Rey asked Zarde. Zarde puffed out her lip in thought.

"I don't recall ever meeting them in person. Sorry, I'm not much help." Rey shook her head, "It's okay. I'm just a bit nervous. I have no idea what kind of people they are."

Zarde hummed, "That would make me pretty nervous too."

"Do they know I'm Kylo's apprentice?"

"I know he sent a message out to them some time after you arrived on the ship, so yes they are aware that Kylo has an apprentice."

"They just don't know she's a scavenger," Rey muttered bitterly to herself. Zarde heard her however and frowned. They sat in silence for several minutes, Zarde finishing up Rey's bun and smoothing out the fabric of her dress, "Well, when they see you that won't be the first thing they think. Turn around."

Rey did was she was instructed and turned. She came face to face with a full body mirror and gasped. She wore a thick, dark grey dress and a black overcoat that made her look sharp and sleek, like everything in the First Order. Zarde had applied a bit of makeup on her that made her eyes pop and of course had styled her hair up into a fantastic bun.

Rey didn't recognize the woman standing in front of her.

"Do you like it?" Zarde asked, peaking behind her through the mirror. Rey's lower lip trembled slightly. She looked down at the dress she was wearing, running a hand over it.

"I don't think I've ever looked this pretty in my life."

Zarde's smiled fell. Rey chuckled but there was no humor in her tone.

"You even made scavenger garbage look presentable."

Zarde put a hand on Rey's shoulder and forced her to turn around. The dark-haired woman saw the rims of Rey's eyes start to turn red. She placed her hands on Rey's cheeks, being careful not to smudge any of her makeup.

"Rey, you are so much more than what others make you out to be. Forget about that life. It does not define who you are. You have so much more to offer the galaxy than scavenging rusted parts. Lord Ren has seen it. I've seen it. It's time you see it yourself."

Rey blinked her eyes, trying to keep her tears at bay. The last thing she wanted was to ruin Zarde's beautiful makeup job. Without warning, Rey flung her arms around Zarde, hugging her tightly.

"Thank you," Rey whispered, "For being about the only good thing in this terrible place."

Hesitantly Zarde wrapped her arms around the girl, tightening them comfortingly. They stood like that for several moments when they heard a chirp from the front door. Rey sniffled, trying to recollect herself. The two women pulled away and Zarde offered her a smile before strolling to the door to see who it was. Rey stood in her room silently, listening as the front door slid open.

"Lord Ren, you're here sooner than expected," she heard from the front and she froze.

"The Knights' shuttle is about five minutes from here. Rey and I are to meet them in the hangar bay when they land," came the gruff sound of his voice through his helmet. Obviously, he would have to wear it with _them_ around.

"Yes of course. You're in luck, we just finished up. Miss Rey!" Zarde called out to her. Rey clenched her fists apprehensively. She didn't understand why but the thought of Kylo seeing her all dressed up made her stomach churn. Finally working up a small ounce of courage, Rey slowly walked into the living area of her quarters.

There she found Zarde and Kylo waiting for her. Zarde smiled brightly at her, satisfied with her work. With his helmet on Rey could not tell what Kylo thought of her appearance.

"The Knights will be arriving soon," he said as she approached them.

Rey nodded, "Yes I heard."

"Zarde you may have the rest of the night off if you desire," Kylo said turning to her. She nodded and snuck past him to leave the room, sneaking one last compassionate glance in Rey's direction as if offering her some strength. The two of them were left in the silence of her quarters and it was suffocating.

Rey had never felt so helpless in all her life and could not understand why. She was attending a dinner with Kylo and his followers, if anything she should be worried about screwing up in front of them, yet all she could think about was if Kylo liked her dress.

"You…" came quietly from Kylo, "You look…," a long pause followed that Rey could barely handle. She decided to kill the tension with some humor.

"Decent? Zarde can really work wonders, right?" she laughed lightly. She waited for him to agree with her, however what followed after was not remotely close to what she expected.

"Beautiful."

Rey's heart momentarily stopped. Never in her life had anyone called her beautiful before. She never thought Kylo would be the first one to say it to her. Surprisingly, it made her feel good inside knowing it was him. Her cheeks turned red in embarrassment.

"Thank you," she said. To her surprise the man held out an arm towards her.

"It's customary for a gentleman to escort his female companion to dinner," he said. Rey smiled mischievously.

"Companion? Wouldn't _apprentice_ sound more professional?"

"You are my companion, are you not?" he questioned.

Rey pondered his words deeply. He didn't act like her enemy and she no longer viewed him as one. In the past few weeks the line between their relationship had started to blur. Rey wasn't positive she knew what it was. But one thing was clear.

She didn't hate him. Not anymore.

"Yes," she answered, smiling, "I suppose I am."

"Well then," he said, and she knew for a fact he was smirking under his helmet, "Shall we?"

Rey only hesitated for a moment before looping her arm with his arm and her other hand grabbing his. She tightened her grip unconsciously. He did the same.

"We shall."

 **I know, it was cheesy but I can't help it, I'm a helpless romantic. I'm excited to introduce my interpretation of the Knights of Ren. Hope you all like them. Be sure to check out my other story "Their Secret Haven."**


	13. Chapter 13

**Be sure to check out my other story, "Their Secret Haven", also, my family is going camping this weekend so I won't have access to a computer to work on chapters. I don't know when my next update will be. Sorry for the inconvenience. Also, I know there are supposed to be like 6 knights but I figured time has passed since the destruction of Luke's temple so maybe some of them died in that time or something. It's hard making up oc's.**

There was a large assembly of troopers in the hangar bay, awaiting the arrival of the Knights of Ren. When Kylo and Rey arrived, they found General Hux, Captain Phasma, and several other high-ranking officials waiting for them. They strolled toward them and Rey noticed Hux looking her up and down. She could sense his slight approval of attire and Rey scoffed. His opinion didn't matter to her. Other people's opinions of her didn't matter.

Only those who were important to her.

Rey stood stiffly beside Kylo as they waited for the Knight's command shuttle. She reached out to him through their bond and could feel his apprehension as well, why she could not say. Maybe he was worried they would not approve of her. What would happen if they didn't?

Rey heard a humming sound and looked out through the hangar doors to see a ship, followed by two TIE Fighters. She could feel the Force emanating strongly off the vessel and knew the time had come. Rey clenched her fists, trying to will her body not to show any signs of weakness in front of the Knights of Ren.

The ship landed not ten feet away from Rey and the small group of officials. The ramp lowered with a hissing sound, exhaust blowing out the sides. The ramp hit the tile floor with a clank and almost immediately after four silhouettes marched down it.

Kylo strode towards them, Rey following close behind. He stopped in front of the ramp and the knights met him at the bottom. Rey noticed all of them were dressed in black with unnerving helmets like the one Kylo wore. She also noticed a lot of dirt on their boots and dried blood. She could only imagine what they were doing before landing on The _Finalizer_.

"Master," the one leading the group spoke, dipping his head down. The rest followed suit.

"I trust the journey was kind to you, Tabor Ren" said Kylo.

"It was, at least in regards to myself," responded Tabor, "Though I can't say the same for everyone else."

"Oh?"

"Suel caught some kind of bug on the planet we were on and was vomiting the whole way," said a different knight. He gestured his thumb towards one of his comrades beside him. To Rey's surprise, a low chuckle resonated through Kylo's helmet.

"Why does that not surprise me?" said Kyle. A different knight stepped forward. Rey noticed this one was noticeably shorter than the others.

"Suel has the worst streak of bad luck in the galaxy. A furnocs attacked shortly after we landed you know," came Avery feminine voice through the helmet.

"And before we were about to leave," Tabor chimed in. Kylo and the other knights started laughing, a sight that startled and confused everyone in the area. For such an ominous looking group they didn't act the part. The last member folded their arms over their chest.

"Why do you guys make me the butt of every joke? I was not the only one, Lodan was attacked by the furnocs too."

"Yeah, as I was trying to save _you_ ," replied Lodan, jabbing Suel with his finger. Rey watched the group interact in amusement. She could feel Kylo's happiness radiating through their bond. It occurred to her that the group in front of him was probably the closest thing he had to real companionship. It both pleased Rey and upset her.

"So, this is the new apprentice?" asked Tabor, striding up to Rey. She stared up at him, trying to imagine his face under the helmet. He hummed then glanced over his shoulder at his comrades, "What do you all think? Lodan? Ahni?"

"She's a cute little thing, that's for sure," said Lodan stroking his chin and Rey cringed. Rey's gaze fell on the shortest of the group, the one Tabor called Ahni. She could almost feel her scrutinizing gaze examining her up and down. Ahni placed her hand's on her hips.

"She's a little young," was her only comment.

"That doesn't mean anything though," said Tabor, turning his attention back to Rey, "I'm Tabor Ren. It's a pleasure to finally meet the apprentice of Kylo Ren."

Rey nodded, "The pleasure is mine. I'm Rey."

"Is there a last name that goes with that?" questioned Lodan. A pregnant silence filled the space between them and Rey shook her head "no". The knights seemed to understand the context of her response and didn't continue. Kylo, in hopes of alleviating Rey's discomfort held an arm out towards the back of the hangar.

"Shall we eat? Your journey was long and I'm sure you are all in need of food." Lodan clapped his hands together loudly.

"Great! I am starving!" The others nodded in agreement and started walking towards Hux and the others. Rey watched the man address them before she felt something brush against her mind. She knew immediately who it was.

 _Are you alright?_ Kylo asked. Rey had grown more comfortable with him communicating with her through the link, especially on topics others didn't need to hear. What once bothered and disturbed her was now something precious and intimate. It was their little secret.

 _I'm fine. I shouldn't let it bug me so much._

 _It's okay to be upset. They abandoned you._

Rey felt her heart clench, _let's not talk about this anymore._ Rey walked past him to join the other knights. She made it only a few feet away before she heard Kylo whisper one last thought to her.

 _They don't deserve you._

Rey gasped, glancing over her shoulder to see him. He stared at her. She couldn't see his face but she could feel him sending her comforting vibes through the bond. Rey smiled gratefully towards him before continuing to the knights. They laughed at something Tabor had said while Hux stood, practically fuming, beside them. They seemed like a very lively, agreeable bunch, but looks could be deceiving. The night was still young.

There was still time for everything to go horribly wrong.

* * *

The group had been led to a private dining room commonly used by Hux and other high-ranking admirals. Hux had declined the invitation to join them that evening, Rey could only guess why, so it was just the six of them. When they entered the room, six chairs had already been set up with plates and drink glasses.

"Finally, a real meal," said Lodan, "I'm absolutely sick of those rations the First Order tries to pass off for food." He reached for his helmet and clicked the release button, pulling the helmet free from his head. He had brown hair that reached his chin and stubble along his jawline with bright blue eyes.

Kylo and the other knights followed in his example and pulled off their helmets. Tabor Ren had stark white hair and a beard shaved into an intracite pattern. Suel had dark skin and a clean-shaven head. Ahni's hair was dark blue, cut short, with brown eyes. All four knights stared at Kylo with wide eyes.

"What?' he questioned, arching a brow.

"What happened to your face?" Suel questioned, making a circular motion around his own face in demonstration. It hadn't occurred to Rey that the knights did not know about their duel or at least hadn't seen or heard from him personally since their fight.

"This," he stated, pointing to the scar that stretched across his face, "is an example of the kind of power Rey possesses." The knights glanced at each other as if conveying some hidden message no one else understood. Tabor rubbed the back of his neck, taking a seat.

"I've got to say, I'm rather impressed."

"We should have been there sir," said Ahni, "you wouldn't have been injured."

Kylo waved her off, "It's fine. I actually don't mind it all that much."

"Was it bad when he first got it?" Rey was surprised to find that Suel had asked _her_ the question. Rey took a seat beside Kylo.

"Well, it _looked_ really painful. It was all red and thick."

"Certainly, sounds bad," muttered Tabor. Lodan elbowed him playfully.

"Not as bad as the scar Evanu had remember? It covered half his face and he could never open his eye. It made him look so ugly."

"What are you talking about Lodan? Evanu was always ugly," chimed Suel. The others at the table laughed in agreement. Rey watched them, not sure how to respond properly. The group went on discussing missions of the past and old comrades until the food was finally brought. Rey had never been to a feast before. All the food placed before her looked so appetizing and delectable that she couldn't help grabbing a handful and scarfing it down.

"How was your mission?" Kylo asked, scooping food onto his plate, "Successful I assume."

"Of course, Master," said Tabor, "Would you accept anything less than perfection?"

"No," he responded. He caught a glimpse of Rey shoveling food down her throat and gave an amused smile, "Where the locals difficult to manage?"

"The locals weren't a problem, the creatures that lived there however were another story," Lodan chuckled, elbowing Suel beside him. The man grumbled something unintelligible as he cut his food with his knife. He glanced up and a strange expression crossed his face. He held his knife up, pointing to the other side of the table, "Is that normal?"

The others at the table followed his knife and finally noticed that Rey was scarfing down her meal like she wouldn't receive food for the rest of her life. Kylo covered his smile with a gloved hand. It took Rey a moment to realize that all talking had ceased and looked up to find everyone staring at her.

"Umm," was all Rey could mutter, her cheeks going red with embarrassment. She caught Kylo smirking out of the corner of her eye and hastily wiped her face from the extra food. Placing her hands in her lap, she waited for their conversation to continue from where it left off. However, it did not go how she had hoped.

"So, Rey, was it?" Ahni started, poking her meat with her fork, "How did our master find you?"

Rey took a small sip of her drink, "He found me on Takodana. I was there with several… friends, while he was locating the map to Skywalker. I was separated from my group when he found me. Why do you ask?"

Ahni placed her fork back on her plate, leaning back in her chair with her arms folded, "Well seeing as you are his apprentice I think it's only fair that we know everything concerning your background. We deserve to know how our master happened to find such a… _unique_ individual such as yourself." The statement was followed by a long and awkward silence. Lodan coughed tightly to ease the tension.

"Takodana, huh?" Lodan whistled, "That place is a piece of work."

"I really liked it," Rey said, voicing her true opinion, "It was so green, so full of life. Unlike where I grew up."

"And where did you grow up?" asked Ahni, staring Rey dead in the eyes. Rey sensed hostility coming from her but could not determine why. Had she said something offensive? She had hardly spoken all evening. Nevertheless, Rey would not be intimidated by her.

"I grew up on Jakku. Ever heard of it?"

"I have in fact. From what I've heard it's a deserted scrap heap full of low-lives and scavengers. I take it you were one yourself, correct?" Kylo saw Rey's fists clench tightly. He glanced up at his disciple. He had a pretty good idea as to why she was trying to provoke Rey, though he chose not to make it known. He wanted to see how Rey would handle the confrontation. If she was to make it far in the First Order then she would have to learn how to defend herself on her own, even from her own allies.

"If you must know, yes, I was a scavenger. I became one after my parents abandoned me on that planet when I was eight," Rey replied haughtily.

"You lived by yourself on _Jakku_ since you were eight?" Tabor clarified. Rey nodded once. Tabor smirked.

"I must commend you Rey. You are more than meets the eye little scavenger." The other knights nodded in agreement.

"What was it like living there?" asked Suel curiously. Rey smiled shyly, not used to so much attention.

"Hot and sandy. It was nothing special, however I would like to hear more about the rest of you. My new master hasn't told me anything about the rest of you."

"Really?" Lodan said, throwing his fork down in mock anger, his gaze turned to Kylo. The man quirked an eyebrow.

"Is something wrong, Lodan?"

"I don't know Kylo, _IS_ something wrong?" he asked sarcastically, "Why would you not tell your own apprentice about us? Your oldest friends and comrades? I'm hurt. I'm absolutely hurt."

"Get over it Lodan," said Tabor. The knight continued to complain about feeling neglected and used. Rey laughed as the others brushed off his comments, telling him he was being overdramatic, which resulted in more complaining.

Kylo watched the exchanges silently. He was pleased that Rey seemed to get along with his followers, or at least most of them. His gaze drifted to Ahni, suddenly becoming conscious of the fact that she hadn't spoken in a while. His comrade was staring at Rey, a contemplative look on her face. He could sense resentment and disbelief radiating off her which he assumed was directed to Rey. He would have to remind her to do a better job at masking her emotions. No doubt the others were feeling it as well.

But there was little he could do to reprimand her. There had been six knights in the beginning and over the years only four remained. They were a close-knit group, wounded souls that needed each other to feel whole. If he were to seriously reprimand her for her behavior towards Rey then his relationship with the others would be damaged. He couldn't risk that.

But he also had a duty to Rey. She was his responsibility, but more than that he genuinely cared about her. She had become a permanent part of his life that he didn't want to lose. He wouldn't let any harm fall upon her, even if he had to protect her against his own comrades.

At the moment though, it was a time for celebration. Rey and the other Knights of Ren seemed to get along nicely which eased his worries even if only a little bit. Kylo brought his drink up to his lips, taking a long and satisfied sip.

Hopefully nothing bad happened in the near future.

 **I know, this chapter was a little shorter than the last few, sorry about that. Don't worry, we'll get more of the knights in the future. Tell me if you liked them! Comment! Favorite! Follow! Have a good spring break!**


	14. Chapter 14

"Rey."

"… yes?"

"You aren't meditating, are you?" Kylo cracked an eye open to see Rey spinning several weights around in the air using the Force. Rey smiled sheepishly.

"How did you know?" She asked, lowering the objects back to the floor. They were in Kylo's private training room, sitting side by side as they were supposed to be doing a mediation exercise.

"I could feel your boredom through the Force," he answered, shutting his eyelid and resuming his concentration. Rey blinked up in surprise.

"How? I thought I had blocked you," she said, earning a stern glance from Kylo. Under other circumstances he would have been proud of her growing ability to create mental barriers to protect her thoughts from enemies, however since she was using her new abilities against him he was less enthusiastic.

She bit her lip, embarrassed that she had been caught. Kylo sighed deeply.

"When meditating one becomes immersed in the Force. That which is hidden is revealed. Like how I was able to slip through your barrier unnoticed and discover you weren't even trying to mediate," he said, the edge of his lip quirking up slightly. Rey groaned, running her hands over her face.

"It's so hard to focus!"

"It's not about focusing. It's about letting go of your thoughts and becoming one with the Force."

"Yeah, and I can't do that," Rey replied, "My mind is just too busy to let go of everything. Can't we just forget about the meditating part and go right to combat?"

"Not until we finish this," he replied, "You'll have to master meditation at some point eventually."

Rey placed her elbows on her knees and leaned into them, "I know," she grumbled, "but that doesn't mean I like doing it, or that I'm any good at it."

Despite himself, Kylo smiled. Rey was a very skilled individual when it came to combat. It only made sense after spending most of her life on Jakku that she knew basic fighting techniques. There was very little he needed to teach her regarding combat, but when it came to studying the aspects of the Force, Rey was hopeless. It gave him no small amount of joy whenever he could teach her the things he had learned.

Kylo tried thinking of a way to teach her that she would be able to understand. One thing came to mind, but it left an unwelcome feeling inside his stomach. Whatever the case, Rey needed to learn even if he didn't necessarily like talking about his method. He shifted towards her so that he was facing her properly. Rey watched curiously before mimicking him. Now that they were facing each other he could better aid her in mastering meditation.

"When I was studying with… Skywalker, I struggled with meditation too." Rey folded her arms over her chest.

"Really?" she asked skeptically. Kylo nodded.

"He told me the easiest way to concentrate was to imagine myself actually letting go of my problems and concerns." He paused for a moment. Rey could feel his unease and discomfort through the bond. She wondered what he was wanting to tell her that made him so distraught. Kylo released a shaky breath.

"When I was younger… my mother would take me with her to senate meetings. You can imagine what that was like, traveling from world to world. Mother was usually busy, but on rare occasions she would take me out to some park where we would walk around sightseeing," Rey watched as a bitter smile graced Kylo's face, "I remember that no matter which world we went to, there was always at least one guy at those parks trying to sell balloons. I would beg her for one every time."

Rey's eyes softened at the man sitting before her. His pain rang through the bond like a bell in a church tower. It was impossible for her to ignore.

 _He was once a little boy. A child like everyone else. So innocent. All he wanted was the love of his family. That was the one thing they didn't quite give to him._

"When I meditate," he continued, recollecting his emotions, "I think of those balloons. Each one represents something I'm holding onto. One at a time I let go of them, until nothing is left except myself and the Force."

Rey released a breath she didn't know she was holding. Kylo's emotions still resonated through her, but she tried to appear indifferent, "And is it really that helpful?"

Kylo nodded, "It is. I suggest you try as well. Close your eyes and imagine you are holding a bunch of balloons. Then, one by one, let them go."

Rey nodded. Straightening her back, Rey placed both her hands beside her and closed her eyes. Breathing in deeply, she pulled together the image Kylo suggested. She had never actually seen a real balloon before, but she knew what they were and what they were supposed to look like. She conjured up the image in her mind and soon enough she saw herself holding a large bundle of balloons.

They were in many different shapes, sizes, and colors, just hovering happily over her head. Rey smiled despite knowing they were just figments of her imagination.

"Do you see them?" she heard Kylo ask across from her. Rey nodded, too captivated by the image her mind had concocted. "Now," he muttered softly, "picture each one representing something from your life. Then slowly, release them."

Rey did as she was told. She took one of the balloons, picturing the people who constantly stared at her when she walked down the halls. Without hesitating, she let go of the balloon.

It surprised Rey how good it felt to remove the weight on her shoulders. She did it again, thinking about her anxiety and fears regarding the Knights of Ren. Again, when she thought of Snoke, and his ever-threatening control over her life.

One by one she let go of her worries and fears. Her breathing became calmer, her thoughts diminished. Slowly everything around, her fell into perfect order.

She could feel the balance. She could feel the Force.

"KYLO!" came a loud, unexpected voice.

Rey was startled from her concentration, eyes flying to the door of the training room where all four of the Knights of Ren stood. Kylo grumbled lowly, turning to face them. He glared at Lodan who had rudely interrupted them. The man just smiled cheekily.

"This is a private training room. Emphasis on the word _private_." Lodan shrugged carelessly.

"Oh Kylo, we're your friends! Those rules never apply to us."

None of the Knights had helmets on which relieved Rey tremendously, but she couldn't help but shiver under Ahni's judgmental stare. Kylo rose to his feet while Rey remained on the floor, legs still crossed in the lotus position.

"What are you all doing here? Can't you see we are in the middle of something."

Tabor stepped forward, "We thought right now would be a great opportunity to witness your apprentice in action." Beside him, Lodan jumped onto a nearby bench.

"Yeah. We wanted to see her in action considering she completely ruined-" he waved a hand in front of his face, "-this. Not that you were much to look at in the first place, but you know what I mean."

Kylo scowled, not the least bit amused, "Well you picked a bad time. We are in the middle of meditation practices and the last thing I'm going to do is fight Rey for your own entertainment."

"Come on Kylo, don't be such a nerf-herder," whined Lodan comically. Suel snickered quietly to the side. Rey lifted herself off the ground. Tabor shot a glance at Lodan, silently commanding him to keep his mouth shut for another minute or two. He had a very contemplative expression on his face as he stared at the girl before him. A smirk appeared.

"I have an idea. Why don't you let your apprentice duel one of us, Kylo?"

That idea perked the attention of everyone in the room.

"Absolutely not!" Kylo stated firmly. Rey may have seen his comrades outside of their threatening masks and costumes, but they were still the Knights of Ren, Snoke's elite team. While none of them were as strong as himself or Rey, he knew they wouldn't hold back in a fight real or not. Rey didn't exactly have their same lust for combat.

He honestly didn't want her to.

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan," agreed Lodan, "Why not Kylo? It'll be fun."

"It's out of the question. She's not a droid you can practice on, she's a person, and she's my apprentice. I am responsible for her."

"Are you afraid we'll hurt her?" questioned Suel.

"I highly doubt we'll be able to do much harm to her if she bested you in combat," Lodan remarked. Kylo scowled. His comrades were grating on his patience. No matter what he refused to allow them to fight Rey.

Rey could feel Kylo's frustration growing through their bond. She feared with anymore pestering he would unleash his anger openly. Without thinking, Rey placed her hand on Kylo's bicep. The man was startled by the sudden contact and quickly glanced at her over his shoulder.

"I don't mind fighting one of them. It's no big deal. It'll be good practice," she said, offering him a subtle smile. Kylo stared at her for several seconds, contemplating her statement. He was very much against her fighting one of the Knights, but looking down at her, seeing the resolve in her eyes, Kylo couldn't deny her the chance to prove her worth.

"Very well. If you must," he said. Rey's smile widened as the anger through their bond receded.

Off to the side the four Knights watched the exchange with interest. Lodan and Suel glanced at each other, both wearing matching, suggestive smirks. Tabor stood there, studying the two critically. His eyes narrowed in suspicion. Ahni remained stoic, though the same could not be said regarding her inner thoughts.

"Well Kylo," Tabor said, clasping his hands behind his back, "It would appear your apprentice isn't afraid to take matters into her own hands. That's good."

"Who is she going to fight?" asked Suel. Kylo opened his mouth to respond but was abruptly cut off.

"I'll do it."

All eyes in the room fell on Ahni Ren. She hadn't spoken once upon entering the training room and the others had almost forgotten she was there.

"You want to fight her?" questioned Tabor curiously. The woman shot him a glare.

"Do you doubt my abilities?"

"Of course not. I'm just a little… perplexed is all."

"Don't be. I don't need to explain my desires to you."

"Maybe someone else should fight," Kylo said, eying Ahni skeptically. She had been behaving oddly towards Rey since her arrival on The _Finalizer_ and he had a pretty good idea why. For years he had sensed a growing desire within her to be close to him. At the time he had been fully committed to tracking down Luke Skywalker and couldn't be bothered with pursuing relationships. He had told her this but that didn't stop her feelings from clearly growing. The appearance of Rey had been a shock to her and Kylo felt it. He was sure all of them felt it.

He wondered if Ahni was aware of that fact.

"Alright," said Rey, walking towards the rack of fighting rods, "I can't promise a very hardcore fight, but I'm sure I can produce something at least a little stimulating-,"

"Those won't be necessary," Ahni interrupted. Rey's hand froze, hovering over the rod.

"They won't?" Rey asked dumbly. Within a split second, Ahni had whipped a black hilt from her belt. She flicked it and her red lightsaber came to life. Rey's eyes grew in shock.

"I don't think I should-,"

"Are you afraid?" Ahni interrupted, swinging the blade in front of her, "Kylo Ren wouldn't have trained a coward."

Rey was no coward. She had no qualms with pulling out her fake saber and showing Ahni what she was capable of, though she feared the end results. One of them could be seriously injured. Or what if she lost? Would her worth drastically decrease according to the Knights of Ren?

She glanced over in Kylo's direction. What would he think? Would he applaud her for defeating a worthy opponent on her own or scorn her for harming one of his oldest comrades?

Rey was surprised to see Kylo nod, giving her permission to use her own saber in defense. She sucked in a breath. He had agreed to Ahni's terms. Rey really wouldn't receive any help.

She was on her own.

Her hand rested on her saber hilt for a split second before finally pulling it off her belt and grasping it firmly. Rey bit her lip apprehensively as she lifted the hilt and flicked the red saber to life. Ahni noticed all of this.

"You hesitate even when your master has given you permission to strike? Such behavior is not befitting for a student of Kylo Ren."

"Enough talking," Rey shot back, "Let's fight."

It took Ahni less than a second to swing her blade down on Rey. The woman blocked it and quickly threw back several of her own hits.

Rey pushed Ahni back towards the large mirrors, ramming the girl against one of them. The glass didn't break, but the light fixtures surrounding it started flickering from the pressure of Ahni's body against the glass.

"Most impressive," Kylo heard Tabor mutter beside him. He glanced at his comrade who stroked his beard in thought, "She certainly is skilled with a lightsaber."

"Ahni has taken down creatures three times this chick's size in thirty seconds tops," Suel commented, "I don't think she's ever had this much trouble against an opponent."

Ahni heard this comment and snarled. She would not lose to a lowlife scavenger her master picked up on some random planet. She refused to be beaten. Not while her comrades were watching.

She pushed back against Rey away from the mirror, giving herself more space to operate. She brought her saber over Rey's head which was quickly blocked and redirected. The two women danced around the room for several minutes, the men watching with heightened interest.

Kylo watched as Rey's strength began to dwindle. He was impressed that she had been able to hold out against a trained knight for as long as she had without faltering. He reached out to her through their bond, giving her assurance that she had the power to beat Ahni. From the corner of her eye she glanced at him, desperately trying to keep Ahni at bay. His dark eyes spoke to her in a way she couldn't describe aloud. She knew he had faith in her, that she would come out on top. And there was within those eyes also a silent assurance, that even if she did fail, it would be alright. He would be proud of her nonetheless.

This revelation only fueled Rey's desire to succeed even more. Pulling together all her strength, she shoved Ahni. The woman stumbled backward and Rey used the window of opportunity to graze her wrist.

Ahni cried out loudly, dropping her saber and clutching her injured hand. Rey had just barely hit her but the burn stung painfully. She fell to her knees as Rey towered above her. Lodan and Suel jumped to their feet to help their comrade, but Tabor held an arm out, forcing them to freeze.

"The battle is hers," he said, lowering his arm again, "Ahni failed and it is up to Rey to decide her fate."

Rey stared at him in confusion before turning back to Ahni. She was sweating profusely, clutching her wrist like a lifeline. She looked so helpless sitting on the floor, completely at Rey's mercy. At least that's what Tabor suggested.

 _If our roles were switched I'm sure she'd kill me_ , Rey thought bitterly, though she knew it to be true. Ahni Ren was distrustful of her for some reason that Rey did not understand and would gladly dispose of her at the first opportunity. But Ahni hadn't won. Rey did.

And Rey wasn't anything like her.

"You should go get that looked at," Rey broke the silence. All eyes in the room fell on her, "You could start going into shock if it isn't properly treated."

Ahni stared up at her with eyes as wide as saucers. Her lower lip trembled with anger and disbelief, "I don't need a _scavenger_ telling me what to do."

"I'm not a scavenger!" Rey suddenly snapped, "Not anymore." She looked around at the other people in the room. Suel and Lodan gaped at her while Tabor studied her silently. Lastly, she turned to Kylo, waiting to see his response. She grazed the surface of his thoughts, expecting to find disappointment but was pleasantly surprised to find pride and a little relief.

 _Can I leave now?_ She asked through their bond, _I need…I need time to think._

 _Go ahead_ , he responded immediately, _I'll handle things in here._

Rey nodded. Flicking her lightsaber off, she strolled out the door without saying another word.

All eyes were trained on her retreating form even after the doors had closed.

"What. Was. That?" Lodan said, still flabbergasted by the spectacle he had just witnessed. Ahni made a noise of discomfort, reminding everyone that she was still injured. Suel rushed to her side, gently pulling her off the ground.

"Your apprentice is a weak-minded fool," she spat at Kylo. The man glared at her.

"She beat you at your own challenge."

"That's not what I meant!" she yelled, pulling herself from Suel, "Her heart does not lie in the Dark Side. She can't be trusted."

"I have to agree with Ahni," spoke Tabor, folding his arms, "Had she actually killed Ahni she would have risen through the ranks of the First Order and become a knight of Ren herself, yet she showed empathy and compassion. Both tools… of the Jedi."

"We need every able-bodied individual to destroy the Resistance," Kylo shot back, "Did it occur to any of you that if Rey killed Ahni we would be short one Force User? Rey isn't foolish. She wouldn't kill off a comrade over a petty duel."

"Anyone who doesn't act in their own self-interest is idiotic," Ahni said, brushing her hair from her face. It was sticking to her forehead due to her sweating. Kylo growled.

"Like you did just now?"

Ahni's eyes shot up to meet his. Lodan and Suel watched nervously to the side while Tabor sighed. They all knew what he was referring to.

"You may be a skilled fighter Ahni, but you are absolutely terrible at hiding your thoughts and emotions. Did you really think I couldn't sense your jealousy towards Rey?" he questioned. He threw his hand towards the others, "All of us could feel it!"

None of the others said anything, but their sheepish and embarrassed expressions were enough to make Ahni's face heat up. She glared down at her feet, too ashamed to meet Kylo's line of vision.

"Of all the people spread throughout the galaxy, why choose a filthy junk trader for your apprentice?"

"I was wondering the same thing," voiced Tabor, staring at Kylo coldly. In all the years he had known him, Tabor knew Kylo to be a man driven by his emotions. They were what made him so powerful in the Force, but they were also dangerous. Tabor had noticed through the years Kylo's struggle with the Light, which often clouded his judgment. As more time passed Tabor was becoming more convinced that Kylo was no longer fit to lead the Knights of Ren. If Kylo had selected Rey for any reason other than training her in the ways of the Force, then it would solidify his concern and decision to act.

"She is my equal," was Kylo's answer. Tabor's brow creased.

"Care to elaborate?"

Kylo chose his next words carefully. He couldn't have his comrades doubting Rey's loyalty, "I have been inside her mind, and she has been in mine. We understand each other in ways that no one else can understand. When we dueled, she was able to overpower me, something no one has ever done before. She gives me strength as I'm sure I do her. I know I can accomplish anything with her at my side."

His comrades studied him thoroughly. He would not allow them access to his inner thoughts but they could read his eyes. What he had shared with him he truly believed and would die believing it. It would be foolish trying to convince him otherwise.

Lodan sighed, "Alright then. If you trust her then I trust her." Suel nodded in silent agreement.

"Well I don't," Ahni barked, "That girl has wormed her way into your heart and is blinding your sense of reason."

"I could say the same about you, Ahni," Kylo countered. The woman's cheeks flushed red with anger and embarrassment.

"I'm afraid I agree with Ahni," said Tabor, "There is something about her that doesn't sit well with me. I wouldn't say she follows the Light, but not the Dark Side either, and we can't have that. I think she needs to be tested."

"She's already proven her worth among the soldiers," Kylo said, hoping it would be enough to convince them. It wasn't.

"I don't care about what the soldiers think of her. Soldiers are manipulative and foolish. We need to test her ourselves."

Kylo eyed his followers, grazing the edges of their minds. They all agreed with Tabor. They needed to test Rey's loyalty themselves. Kylo bit the inside of his lip. His followers were merciless. They had no problem slaughtering the helpless padawans at Luke's temple, they would not hesitate to strike Rey down if she did not pass their test.

He would not let them harm her.

She was the only person who still saw him as a human being, who treated him with respect, and dare he say it compassion. He couldn't lose her.

But he couldn't just straight up help her either.

He could feel their wariness of him slowly growing. If he made a wrong move they would cast him aside like so many others had. Kylo refused to let them harm Rey, but they couldn't know of his feelings regarding her. He had very few options.

In fact, he only had one.

His eyes met Tabor's. He allowed the darkness to shroud him to hide his true thoughts and feelings from the man. Straightening his back, he composed himself in a manner fitting the Master of the Knights of Ren.

"What did you have in mind?"

 **I have to apologize for taking so long to update. It's the end of the semester and I am packed with work. To be perfectly honest, I had this chapter ready for several weeks now, but a recent passing in my family put me in a very bad place. I'm back now and that's what matters.**

 **Expect the next update to be a while though. Sorry for the inconvenience. On the plus side summer is coming and I'll have plenty of time to complete this story. Be sure to check out my other ReyLo fic "Their Secret Haven."**


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